Lucas Juicer: Episode Seven

Episode 7

han Solo is in a retirement home and slips in the shower, breaking his ankle. Wife Leia finds him. Full Monty nudity. First five minutes. Not cool. Ruins it. Cannot get it out of my head. Seen his LASER pistol’s alter ego and reminds me of my dad sleepwalking. Put it away dad. Snufflufagus is NOT REAL!!!

Darth Vader comes back. No?? Agh!! LUCAS!!!

Lucas Juicer, Vol. 1

Darth Maul’s face make up was patterned after a rare baboon’s ass. Yep. It wields a long double banana, then cuts it in half and eats it. From Peru.

Jesus Disciples

If there is ONE thing I have learned from the Pratt & Lambert school of ultra conservative theology, it is this:

In the end, we will all go to the place where we belong.

Sucks to be Judas, though. He got rewarded for WICKEDNESS. I am guessing he bought a field worth $100,000 dollars according to today’s property value… then while the other followers of Christ witnessed Jesus resurrection… Did HE, too?

If so- WHAT is THAT? He would see that the man he helped murder (as an accessory) HE had puncture scars. What would that do to an undisciplined MIND? What if Ted Bundy, while he was still alive, had to look at the man he killed come to life? I don’t feel right using the females as an example. I think Bundy would calculate himself into a state of severe SHOCK from seeing a reversal of what HE felt sure was real. It would be extremely surreal, like shock that strikes hot as hell and never leaves. So Judas hung himself.

I think people assume Judas felt BAD and executed himself, or tried to “hide” from wrath. That is the picture I always had.

So does the vile man get to be with Jesus? No. The clean man does who is washed.

How is THAT for a statement on Zealous, upset, doubtful, loud mouth, whining, presumptuous and maybe all twenty to forty something in age, I don’t know? Because if we religious wackos are going to get the bible right, we should probably think of the Twelve and who THEY really were as they took over Jesus’s ministry. It is easy to find examples of Satan’s pawns. But to have a record of the writing of men who unlike Jesus DID have sin to see how we are like them- those out there that want to carry their cross.

It is a refreshing thing to know men who stand for the lord. For the young man I pray. Their life may be a hard mission, filled with times of worship, everyday existence, passion, obstacles and traps. I think of George Lucas’s Jedi… Are they ready for the trials?

Readiness is available. The new can say they are ready to be seasoned in the ways of valor for the deity who is the Maker. I only see one lonesome sun in my desert. It will guide me home.

Terigohr Internment

Blake Svetnak was a guard at an internment camp long ago. He saw long hours, guarding the high risk security prisoners in The Yalats, Southwest of the Siberian landscape. A group of clergymen marked as a threat to Soceity were driven in through the open gate- a door riddled with razor wire that had DNA on it and the smoke residue of past prisoner kills of men DESPARATE to escape not only a PRISON but a half witted creepy lab where experiment were done.

The 4 new men were taken back to their communal cell. If you looked at them, one looked like Mel Gibson with a bigger nose. And he just looked Russian. Just kidding, he had tight “WODKA” sucking lips and pasty white skin. Pastors do drink. Why not? Is he supposed to be Mr. Piety in the Skieity?

So his name was Danny Glovervich. The SECOND horseman of the apocalypse- OOPS, ruined the ending… Oh well… Number TWO looked like Pat  Sajax. His name was Anton Whitechik. The other two looked like bar stooges from 1940s filmmaking, so let’s move on.

The Clergymen were Bible thumpers from an Antidenominational church called “The Peacekeepers”. Were you expecting ORTHODOX?? I am not about to do research on the Orthodox Church. It’s not MINE. I do not despise it. I am not incensed over their… well anyway, they were in the camp and they CHEWED THEIR WAY OUT THE NEXT DAY because NOBODY HAS TO PROVE THEIR FAITH THRU PAIN- PAIN is to be overcome by FAITH. And they left a note saying:

“sorry” with a SHIV cross SLAMMED thru it.

And 30 years later they died in a bus and went to Heaven.

The end

Lullaby From The Living Park Oak Tree

And my branches

Over you

Are your garland prize

I am the oak tree.

Please, imagine a field for me where

children are kind. Not like THIS world.

It was never kind for me.

I was the one not allowed to play

Day after day

I could not communicate right

Or talk to the popular kids or know

their world.

The rich people’s sons and daughters

play with us. How do they get so much?

I am not with them. I touch the cold

window and bleed blue. I am thankful I

could see a father and son.

Terminator Hillside

I first saw a “record size” laser-disk version of T2 at a really cool house on a ridge overlooking Portland from far off. So I don’t know how to say this, but- it was a state of the art moment.

Just thinking of Seana. In black and white.

Yeah, there’s that Lego that is “mono digit”… That is what this post is. It’s the first LEGO TO GET SUCKED UP INTO THE VACUUM AND MAKE A  SNAPPARROO sound.

||| 2014