All Hallow’s Eve Wardrobes

If you do not have a costume, its too late. Yup. So you CAN still win because I just invented Hallowplanking, but I need YOU to DO it.


   Hallowplank means to plank on halloween. I would not suggest to dress as Batman and plank, or Brad Pitt and plank. That’s stupid. No, dress like Marylin Monroe or Superman flying on the ground. Better yet…

Dead Plank:

Take 100 hot dogs, 10 bottles of catsup.
Blend them. Put all that yuck in a plastic sack. Measure a triangle 30° x 75° x 75° with long sides going out 50 feet. Mark it lightly. Gently evenly disperse your hot dog chunk mix out as if it were spattered brains.

Now hook up your iPod and prepare to be bored as you deadplank, apparently with 6 times the natural amount of brain fat exploded out of your head. Be ready to answer questions like, “Are you okay?”, with answers like… “no”… or, well… I don’t know.


     This is me, making my face called, “Someone Doesn’t Care And That Someone Is Me But Im Too Nice, So I DO Care And I Really Really Wish I Didn’t Care… Oh Well.”

      Have a hazardous Halloween, drive fast and don’t be careful. I’m kidding. Jerry Mergawitz- I am not kidding. Please hurt yourself. You bastard, and stay away from my sisters. HA!

The 3-toed Zorse

    The Zorse is an amazing figment reality of Cleaver Solutions Inc. Cloned from imaginary ziphnogs, the imaginary Zorse is the embodiment of the mind of the Ward. Of course a zorsian horse is quite REAL in its splendor of virtual being.


   Note the great hindquarters of power, the humility to work for broccoli. C.S. Inc. is developing an imaginary anti-body to combat flatulence of the Zorse, the main complaint of consumers. See the power in its cleverly cloned three-toed footies.

    Taken from the Atlantic island of  Endura, rescued from zorsian boxing matches (these fights continue till the bell or nay. Disgusting! Sorry) the Zorse is very happy to learn the peace of labouring, hauling your grocies, disconnecting his cute little slave harness and with his itty fingahs he grabs even a milk and puts away all.

      Order a Zorse today. Use the clandestine line for illegal and unethical ops. Be sure to give your Zorse:

Tummy rubs
if they request (pointing to bum)
Loo time to read a zine

      This is the time for calorie conservation. Order your Zorse today.

Wardlin C. Cleaver
Protected Species Dealer


If someone says, “Do not”, do you not want to know WHY not?

If someone says, “Do this”, do you not need to know why?

If someone says, “Maybe you should”, how many just ignore that because the use of “should” is conditional and that person has no command of language rules?

You ought to think as fits survival, for on the curl of one letter is freedom or damnable servitude. Command yourself, direct your slaves. Slaves are words. Commanders are people. Even infants are lords- you are affected… it will cost you. Make them work. Not as babies. Whenever they smart off. Make yourself work, when you smart off.



Luminous Pathogenesis

     “Go to the light Sweetie,” said Lorenzo’s mom. They thought he was slipping away. They say, “Curtains” for the end of one’s life.

     But what about backward? Who was your great great grandfather? And his? 18 generations back? They exist. And then they called life “Now” as we do.

    What is time? I am going to lay out a theory that is vague, yet dually conclusive as to how we became human on a planet. I will offer views of evolutionists as well as creationists. Each camp has members who, in their camp, disagree. I hand picked from Carl Sagan (E) to Einstein (C) and other views.

      I am self taught, 120 IQ & high EQ. READ MY WORDS, DECIDE FOR YOURSELF.

Conglemerate Theory

   The fact is that physicists say energy created matter. They say all of matter was in one small place. This is to them the ‘Big Bang’. They say matter was developed, that matter is a slow mode of energy and there is spoken a presence of cooresponding voids and forms. That is what any scient COULD agree on.

      The Creationist expounds to say the initial phase is not described and I will say it iS in fact in Genesis 1, if you will bear with me, I will exclude religiousity to focus on physics only but I will mention spirit as well as God. They say, whether they CLAIM or not what modern science confirms. The Earth (or the idea of it was not formed and void and the spirit was over the waters.

    Because this is aa conglomerate view, it will ALL sound creationist, because I am in that camp. The void- excellent! Vacuuousness is an ingredient in space-time. Formless- well, this is reference to the universe as the as-of-yet at this second pre-Bang a time unit out-of-time. There is metaphysics and vision (not God) coming from God (Hebrew, Elohim).

      Let there be light.

    And no eyes to see it, so it is radiation. It came before the sun, so not a light-giving light. Just light. A zygote of any embryo starts with a spark. This is a radiation jump start. Days are counted. Two non solar days, then on day 3, our sun and moon. Now its just too orderly and too soon to speak of these created things. So…

        Light and water, water being not taken literally as Dasani, plus void matter has what it needs to form or be formed. Dry land appears, plants and animals arrive, then man. I suppose one could say the days were long. One could say God molded or made things mold themselves in evolution. The theory is preached as fact, let’s rethink without fear that other forces were at play on an Earth measured to be old. The debate is due for evolution, actually.

    What I purport is that according to solar days (5) and the two non solar days, time is of little consequence, as, if all the matter in the universe were gathered, even for 72 hrs, the gravity exerted would age everything by process aging. Like a paiting cracked on purpose with chemicals. So if this is true, a planet could be well “affected”.

   Einstein says gravity affects time. This has been measured to be true by matching up sychronized clocks in good repair- one on Earth, the other taken to orbit, then back.

    So all scientists agree a matter mass was together, then dispersed. That gravity was hard on all atoms. That is why a 6 or 7 millinia old Earth may read as aged into millions. Intense initial gravity.

     Having a spirit who does not interfere, only play things about, would be helpful. I’d say essential to make life, which, small as biological things are require written DNA instructions and order they cannot write onto themselves.

Next chapter:
Chapter Zero
Who made the maker?
Answer: Huh?

Oddly, I Feel Serenity


         Oh yeah. Great pic. Hahaha. I did a sad selfie. I get exhausted. Think less and feel more. I don’t know if all people age and stop worrying as much. Maybe its age of PROCESS, not time. Well…

        When I was young, I’d bicycle by the tens of miles, go for super long walks, I would think. Put me in one place in the day, it was torture. So I accidently started moving my mind.

      With that, I talked a lot. Joking, mocking, facetiously was my mode. I was commanded (told):

Be yourself
Calm down
Shut up (not nice!)

    There was a juvenille insanity, mental warpage to my mode. My humor was a methadone to my madness. It was too much for my own use! I was being myself but time to expand.

The Art Of Talking Without Cessation

      The formula for the above must be done, oh, very carefully after social sting, but you can hack it. If you cannot stop talking you must be in tune with your hearers- that your voice be emotionally gentle and soothing. Philosopher Fulk (my friend, not famous) says in his business dealings, “Know the comfort of your client. By all means avoid missing cues and go easy.”

     He is successful. So I applied the philosophy of my voice to “do no harm to the ears”. I have a vast library of tragic stories, mayhem in history, cantankorous human behavior, yet see how I avoid pictures. I just covered all that is wrong. I know things that go to 20 on the scale from one ti ten, and friend, if you ever needed to know someone who could tell you how is starts and stops, you might want to BE that someone. Learn your fear.

   Gosh, there I mention pain and fear and almost hit grief. The BBC in World War II had an Oxford mind do a show on radio to soothe the people. C.S. Lewis talked and talked and wrote and wrote. He wrote on difficult topics.

     Because I want to enlist YOU (I WANT YOU) to join the forces of unarmed hands and weaponized brains as counter-intelligence to:

Combat ignorance
Defeat hunger
Unite good ideas
Avoid war

      You must know this world is not all green, rather count every good. You will need it. Reinvent your mind, grasp who is reaching for you back- your spiritual belonging. I will tell you a secret- there is a fat knowledge wanting to burst out, maybe thru YOU and it is being suppressed by things around you, individuals who are bitter, jealous, violent, disagreeable and just plain messed up. Your own skin will feel the lie, but do NOT be dismayed! That was much of my world until age 30.


         There is much adventure to be had. From where I am standing, I say a challenge to science- we aree like animals, but we who are of the consciousness of reality, light, dignity and health bear the great world torch. For AGES, regardless of technology or freedom or wealth, people have found light. It favors no generation. We are spiritual, science-lovers. The spirit loves logical science.

       Remember what you love. No matter what they say, there is a hope for life and beyond religious thinking, there is great reason to believe in more than THIS life, perchance is you are quadrapeligic and have 1% the opportunity of others, you have all the hope, all the heart, all the love that you will ever need right now. “For Always” is not a dream. This world is a shadow of the future. Read it. This world is the underground to a vast metaphysical day. Think it over- you have more freedom to live with the slack of forever ahead. And there, people will be happy.


       I am not a trained individual, but I befriended a woman with a dysfiguring condition. I am christian, yes, but what I stress is philosophy tailor made. She friend-requested me after I said HOW the disabled can give. Feeling useless is no fun. She was in pain. I prayed for her to get her marijuana card. In a month or less, she got it and a break for her was to be out of pain. I witnessed it and attest to the fact that working toward good ends feel GOOD.

      So I have had to learn to speak not so verbose, but lend a hand- and often- and my cintemplations of dying meant less and instructed me more. In fact, I am not at all comfortable with dying, though that time will come and I will have my resolve. But to live. Carpe dium. Live for each other ALL OUT and enjoy doing good at your own level, acknowledging your maker who loves you so much. I am avoiding 16 tons of theology on purpose to say:

Be and live, breathe, endure, hope and love…  and you WILL make it!!


   See you at the after party.



     I called __ _______ today. His name is “____”. As you can see, the censorship already applies to the unspeakable thing he spoke on the phone. Oh he spoke it… but “unspeakable” generally means to use EXTREME caution in sharing and know why you share.

     You see, it is burning like sulfur. So basicly ____ said that ___ took a ___ and ______ __. Not only that but ______ __ ____ _ ____ __ ____ __ ______ ____ __ ___ _____ ___. So he thinks the ___ ____.

    If that’s true, ___ commited a felony. But why I had to hear THAT is beyond me! So I told ___ what this was. No person died. But to talk about the terror is unhealthy. So I won’t tell you __ ___ may have ______ _ ___. He told me sternly not to say a word. If it eats at you, I say, “Spit it out!”



In The New Hood


Vincente’s pizza of Portland, OR. And this is my wife.


This is the last place. How about some windows?


Yeah, man. That’s more like it. Still putting stuff away.


It isn’t bad. Really best to live downtown in a small town. Coffeeshops. Darkhorse comics HQ is 4 blocks away. Yep, in a small town. Movie theatre. Library so close I can zipline to it. Funeral home that close too.


We are on a corner. Well its kinda fun. Long hallway out, so I hum the theme song to Darth Vader while walking the 200 feet to the lift. The stairs are next to us though, and I have NOT picked a song to whistle while tumbling down them.

Social Media Security


I haven’t written in a while
I thought Id mention my day today
I received more criticism
Off Facebook
For many they say they ignore criticism
I was more than criticised

I checked my FaceBook acct
On a regular computer
(I use my Galaxy Note II normally)
On the regular computer,
Facebook said I had THREE copyright

The punishment is prison and bankrupcy, unless you have €100, 000
laying around.
And if serious, “Just prison” means a
Man’s life is over
Unless you plan not taking a shower
Oh!! That pissed me off!!!
Who would put me there, accused?
Suckage. I thought, “Screw them.”

Well its my LIFE, man.
I got 3 person’s emails and I bailed

Deactivation 1 hr ago.

Screw that.
Plus my wife’s friends were sooo
Vocal about having conflicted feelings
About my posts
Big deal
Unless they avenged my posts like this
So I blocked my wife thru whom
They voyeur on me
Creates bad blood. Why?
Social media is up our spine
If I’m not friends with X then
All these goobs are like “Y not?”

Because they turned me in for damn felony piracy.
Anyone want to be my friend: (E-Z 2 remember)

Syntaxtually quasiethicly yors,

-And E