Exeter Cornhusker: Random Phrase 1 (RP1)

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Protection Against Suicide- Option B

Option B:

Buddy

___

Explanation:

If one has a buddy who is close enough to get under your skin, you FEEL PAIN but not necessarily despair. For those who feel “bullied”- I wish you could feel what I feel with my wife of TEN years. It HURTS and does hurt OFTEN. That is because my wife, as cool as she is and as difficult as a bond between a guy and woman is- she has it even worse. She was in an accident. She lived. She has a TBI- head injury. She is more… mean.

So I hear of bullying. Yeah? I won’t belittle that! Not even in a young person. But if I am not ending my life, are you the least bit curious what I live for? I mean, the accident virtually killed my wife. I am living with her reincarnation in my same life. I am dedicated to her. It hurts being “the good guy”, faithful and lonely. I have a ghost. That is my buddy.

Want to make fun? Its like… Jesus. Only who knows who he was? Lived 33 years… Feasted with his ENTOURAGE, got arrested, slapped, humiliated… segregated…

B u l l i e d…

Sentenced unfairly. Alone. NO ONE was his friend. Now he is mine. My… Takiri… Teacher, friend. Inside.

No voices

Those are my thoughts

He helps me with my thoughts to

see that:

My thoughts defend me

And

To tell you the truth, “suicide” is not real. But harming yourself is. THAT is the thing to avoid. Harm unto death is the thing people mean by “suicide” but also they mean to imply life is “doable” always.

Hm. There is a death I chose. Not suicide. Not homocide. “Death to self”…

Death to self is giving up OWNERSHIP of your body without being harsh. Scripture and my spirit tell me that death to self and death to sin is very close to what some Buddhists do or crave. To escape “fairly” and REALLY.

One escape is in meditative breathing. Mayahana. Its not religious. YouTube it. That’s gold! My advice. “Thich Naht Hahn”.

My advice is to see your unhealthy relationships where LOVE STILL EXISTS MUTUALLY as “SPARRING”- to be immune to:

Humiliation

BULLIES

To acquire:

Confidence. Self-control.

But…

My conscience INSISTS that I WRITE that above all, entwined with all- is one name… translates thousands of ways. My Real Lord (Vader is fiction. This one is so much tougher AND PUSHY-

WAY TRUTH LIFE JESUS

Some sneer, “He’s the only way.”- but forget to add that he not only lived, died, resurrected for real… he ascended… became one with everything just like the Dali Lama likes his hot dog…

One… With everything

Take my teacher’s hand

Like Terminator he may say:

“Come with me if you want to live.”

I have self harm scars. Big deal.

The Christ bore piercings like you wouldn’t (effing) believe

He also spent 36 months healing with power we know is real according to Eastern science only he was AMPED. PURE. Not a molester, or a killer. Not a coward. And yes he did have A LOT TO SAY but was no Tool…

He was the Snuffed Rooster

Announcing the Day

Declaring power over death

You know Judas- he was sorry he turned on Jesus. He carried more than what was written. Bible does NOT say he went down to hell as Catholics say. Bible says he “went to where he belongs”. He may have cast out demons, healed. He was still human and serves as a warning for Christians I think that we are able to fall and die by our own plan. Yikes. That is bad enough to feel despair and die.

So I don’t stray, pay a prostitute, own a GUN- all those can

Bump Set Spike me

I am terrified but not of death

I am terrified of failure to saueeze thru LIFE

I’m so SAD

My wife was beautiful

She is

I just have to be flexible and

Renewed

Hopeful

Endure pain (Hemophilia H.A.E.) , PTSD from almost bleeding to death

Stress endurance

I’m not going to suicide

But

I am going to suffer…

Still… Its only a matter of time before sensations CHANGE and I sleep

Yesterday was blindingly PAINFUL… I was at a birthday party. My wife R was sitting there and a family member, drunk, pulled back on her neck

I wanted to die… That stopped. You see, a brain injury is worsened by dipshits who grab the neck- vertebrae

My wife woke up THIS MORNING CRYING AND SCREAMING

I HAD A PANIC ATTACK

WANTED TO DIE… It subsided

My mind said:

Play Angry Birds

Drink a Pepsi

So I did

That was my Takiri… My other… The living essence of Jesus. He doesnt play those games. I do. They help neural processes for ME…

So that I do not LOSE IT and fight with R over screaming that is not her fault and…

I WILL BE AVENGED in an appropriate way … Not by my effort

Ahhhh

Relief

God’s vengenge finds a FIT

RATIONAL

NOT LIKE Tv weirdo yells about. Tele tubby thumpers

You know-

I have been disciplined by God

I kind of tried to drown myself

Then thought NO

TOO LATE

I WAS IN THE OCEAN

I still wonder if I did not die and THIS is a place beyond death

Why try again if I’m dead?

I am convinced I died

I dont mention that publicly

Nor the angels I meet

Do you want to never suicide?

High five the Christ and die like every hour

Thats where I am at

And sometimes I wonder if hell isn’t a better place for me because I’m 95% immune to pain

I’m a little mixed up

Hell paintings are COOL

I think God is a hallowed master over horrors and beautiful eternal dreams

I

Am

Gonna

Make it

Follow

Me

As

I

Follow this light

If you want to live

___

I like people

I hate evil

But I love people

I need them

To LIVE!!

Janet Reno, Safe Forever

Home

My thought

Cults in the USA abuse people

Janet did work that said “No”

I have seen “cult”

I painted a picture of a girl in court

Survivor with daddy

Survivor

Are there happy endings?

There are living endings

There IS reality

There is a katakujutsu that is unschooled

Horrible?

Who was Janet Reno?

My face and unlit cig

Say:

Thank God for watchers that tough!

Living in a cult is-

Escapable

No judgement

“Thank you, O | The Reality | for Reno. ‘Winner’.”

– Andrew HarrisĪ©n, Oregon

Non-denominational psycho-cult survivor

 

Seven Mary Tree

Samahanand Akahn, a doctor in Libya with 19 wives and no children slowly felt despair that all his seed was dead. He thought he could not have true eternal life without at least a daughter. So he trained to be a cop and became close with police women who were ten years younger- at least his fatherly caring came thru. He never inappropriately touched any of them. He was rich and could have any woman. But he wanted to risk his neck for inner peace that a police officer woman or two would be little sisters.

Members of the Hifa sect of Bedoin cultic christianity accused him of lasciviousness. Called his polygamy totally immoral. Picketed his house with signs. One sign read that he had sex with a police woman.

Samahanand called the PD on THAT day, resigned verbally to an operator and shot the man holding the sign that said “Samahanand and Mary… porking in a tree”. Two powder sprays of blood misted dark red out of the christian’s head, skull-pop resounding… followed by a shot to the abdomen. Samahanand, who DID have a close relationship with Marie Itzakrantz, a half- Jewish sniper, he was falling in love with her. They only had coffee. He was going to put his wives in a bigger house and honour them as mothers to the orphans they took care of when they were not drinking ouzo and sunbathing and living wanton.

 

Marie was like no other

 

 

He expressed his love as fire and slipped. He knew he had to cut off from the police. He thought then, he had commited love suicide… he must have! He turned around and went to Arder Well in Hajraan by the charter school, put a Lelu blade over his head strung to a line of rope and dropped a brick down a well. A Lelu, I will not describe because I cannot prove he used a Lelu razor halo. A beheading tool. He was not seen alive. His deceadant body missing a head. Skull is in the well. Dental records show a mouth full of gold!!

I need 2 volunteers to fly to Abaandanandi, Nigeria with me around January 15th, 2017 to retrieve the skull and teeth. Also- there is a 10 million dollar reward for catching the killer. It was the Lelu and gravity. All tragedy. Big deal. I WANT 10 million dollars. I will share $800,000 split two ways. You have to trust me.

Trust that I bullshit brown chocolate whipping cream outta my ass

I am golden! šŸ™‚

Did that move you? It moved my colon

I gotta shit more poop now

See ya…

And message me… I really am going

Its a $100,000 reward and it happened in Congo. 6 wives, not 19.

We will hold funeral services for the doctor…

Neeyaa neeya WEE WOO blee blo …

You have entered the Twilight zone

Get high on me and you are

Not alone

Golden Gate Lemming Drops

Mapo

Mapo

Mapo

South

Korea

Mapo

Bridge

Mapo

Has

Solutions

Railing photo memorial

San

Francisco

Bureaucracy

Blocks

An American

Sacred

Memorial

For survivors

For loss

For prevention

To decrease

Deceadant

Body

Scoop

What

About

Coast Guard

ptsd

??

I think

That what I think

Matters

Very

Little

So I web log

Weblog

Blog it

Today

For the 8th time

Not including city e-mails

To nice ol’ SF

That living photos

Permaposted

Would be

The greatest American not-blog

Logging life

Before

The deceadants appeared

Broke

Fell

Back

Up

Back

In

A Christmas home

A real heart wrencher

To a lost sheep

TO MAKE THAT MORBIDITY PEEL RIGHT OFF

Or do we enjoy

Autonomous autoviolent video

On YooHoo tuber?

I do not

Suicide is too “too”

For that Bay Area

I am guessing

A weird freedom

It would be cooler

To die

Of cancer

Cooler to challenge

One’s own spirit

To stick-with-ship

As it is

Everyone

Is getting

What they need and want

Insanity sugar coated?

Looney Tunes “Now I’ve seen everything”… Aaaaaaaaaaa… * BURST *

Bloat

Float

Ship cruise up

Scoop

Why not leave the fallen leaf

Like Autumn

Why scoop up biological mass?

120lb female

310lb male

167lb young male

110lb young female

Brady Bunch it

Why not have Mike Carol Alice Cindy Bobby Greg Marsha Peter Jan and Tiger all go over together?

Like the great accident in 1824 AD during the Great Depression

Casualties did not exceed what was expected

Yet now

They have

The bridge glory

Illusion of grandeur

History

Is natinally known

And seen

Help has arrived

From the East

I am Thich Quack Duck

The non aqueous non immolater Mayahana crimson lotus maybe-maker

I say YouTube: Mapo

Or we will never see a decrease

Or just “hope” elsewise

Never too late

No fear

No shame

Writing this kills me

Its so boring

And I am not sure jumping is ultimately bad

But for Coast Guard ptsd I write

Rice, Dish: Abramovic

1478065244264486734995Ā Abramovic therapy is to count them

I count an “all”

I keep an “all”

God bless bloody young babes and meaty ladies I go “gaga” for

I am spoken for- yet my sibling chivalry proceedeth in the romance of lotus, wine and thorns

And visceral CARING ladies of China wall-walk… where do they come from?

Enamoured ME

I Twittered

“EarthAndy”

Got.. Shut down

IDK why…

I’d crawl the wall just to see her 1/16 of a nano meter away, pass thru her vision of fleish as a Casper and… I don’t know…

Ask her to tango

She looks young

I’d like to discuss a few brands

Of mine

I’m not sorry

I am just

Performing wild and vividly and not often

The words I use are hell branded air anyway

I adore sangre essence

It IS IN MY visceral all

It is living messenger, liquid, warm, tacky, sticky… IN MY residence

Rice

Where did she pick that idea up?

It is white blood

Dry white blood food

You can eat a dry grain

It takes a while to simmer in your mouth

Essen

Toy

Person

Happy little maggot mummies

No wiggles

I am prone to auto-hallucination, knowing it is not fly babies

This HELPS, Marina

I have very bad ptsd

I have hereditary angioedema and at age 14- I bled internally.. my blood plasma in AGGREGATE entered my abdominal cavity circumcising my hara

Auto hara kiri non suicide hypovolemic shock

Phoenix in me flashing

Heart in spiral

Fear greater than pain

Sheer horror, luminous sibling…

You are part of my salvation experience

I love you