X

I write.
Out of my angst.
Ever flowing.
Positivity needfully growng.

Today

   Valentines Day 2014 marks a low. My father in law has been taken care of for 2 years by a party who was unprofessional. A little over a year ago, she made him marry her. He 83, her 61. Its “legal”. She swore up and down it was love.

    Now, this year, he was forced to verbally disown my wife, her brother- his only living son, last year to change his will valued at half a million plus. Worse, she has sold the house where they live. She is of the will to move him with her brother and granddaughter as accomplices. We overheard a call to us of her voice, saying, “Why don’t you just.. die.”

     This hit my wife. She was already ill from a bad med she just went off of for pain. It was increasing her iron. Ironicly (no pun intended) she may have needed the iron, approaching toxicity, to match the toxic feelings including having the black widow email her directly. I contact a lawyer. The son did. Its expensive! Police and Adult & Family Services are distracted by bigger things. (AFS disintererested & disengaged). I heard a neighbor talk about how SHE should be put out. I was worried about inappropriate retaliation by neighbors. Americans are possibly trigger happy in more ways than one.

     A week ago, I called police non emergency in our town. They heard the message and verified the woman said “die” and asked us to carefully visit 2 weeks ago. In my call one week ago, the officer began to yell at me on the phone. I became like metamucil, light and hearty, and made him drink in: “Do you think this is all something GOD would approve of?” He said, laughing, “I won’t go there with you.” I said, “Oh please do. Athiesm in soceity doesn’t work this one. Obama says God is with us, yet there is a ban on God.” He became irrate. I said, I better go now. I think you are abusing meee…”. No joke. I hung up.

    Two days later, he didn’t know me but we got pulled over by HIM for a headlight out. I made jovial conversation. It was 930 PM on our small expressway. Seriously. Same officer. We laughed later, because he was so “Mighty Mouse”. I thought he makes a good patrolman, seriously. On the phone- forget it.

    So if I’ve written UP or DOWN, appeared down- I was. But writing helps a lot. I have to go to a stupid assessment appt. because I am bipolar. I have called crisis line myself. It helps me. I am semi stable at times. At 39, having a blood condition and bipolar, I do not get automatic empathy. I worry about getting older. I can’t bear to think of my father in law being moved and passing away out of our reach with a stranger. But he is an AF Korean war vet. I hope his training is sticking with him. My name is Harrison. His name is Harry. I changed my last name to match his household that now FOLDS. But a closed book is just as true an an open one. I have him largely memorized. I don’t worry. But the injustice needs ratification. After 24 months, the family is overtaxed, violated, out of options, exhausted. Why must this happen? it is, and is Harry’s finest hour. If you want to come over and save him pro bono, go for it. I won’t respond to suggestions. Elder abuse is so prevalant. We are only afraid of potential foul play. So if you are into kidnapping like in a Robin Hood way, that’s what is required now. He is forbidden to think of his wife. The new woman truely is a “bitch plus one”. And that’s being kind.

Take care of your parents. Don’t let strangers in without a cavity search plus brain scan. Dental health can lead to insanity I mean. Right? Surrrre. Huh. Heh. That parasite will get instant karma-lized. I am counting on it. Love your enemy, right? Give them what they need? Dear lord, please give ____ an extra helping of whack snuff today, that she may fall to her knees and cry. Blessed be the clouds and blue birds. Ah man!

S.s “Angst runs in the fam… wit is ready in a spam can in me hed.”

Have a great doodley day, world neighbors… we will. Better and better.

Stop Reading

Nice title? I bet that is a super sucker!
You made it.

   I was reading two books by Thich Nhat Hanh to try to see Buddhist thought. One was about savoring food as a means to weightloss. The content was basicly that eating is a form of information gathering, so ie if you eat a chocolate bar it says to you,

   “You are good. I am just for you. Your reward. Something smooth. Legal drug. Shiny wrapper. Consume me. You are my goddess- eat me, the sacrifice.”

   Finished, those who only were thinking, “Oh baby! Yeah, yeah… mine, mine, mine, me, me, me… me-time…”- they are going to eat it and instead of being sacrificed to and GLORIFIED in dopamine, they end on “me”.

    Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me.

    Do you like THAT? Not as much as you’d like this:

    You. U. You. You. You. Y-O-U. you.

Part 2

   Fig. 1      d e p r o g r a m m e n

If you will study this HARD for meaning, I think you may understand MY take on
“Escaping Id without killing it”. I am 39, IQ at about 120% of average, so intellectually I know I’m 50. And my rock star persona really throws the youth off and I talk like “old”-er people. Ha! Face. Okay… study in repition:

Unannhiliation Icono-class ex. 1
Write all of this down. See how you feel.

Me is self.      “Me is self”

Does I= me?   I am myself

I can be myself.

I am I.   I.   I.   I.  I.  I.  I.  I.  I.

…is the Great I Am.

…is the Great I Am.

Me am I? Me me. Aye aye.

I miss you.

Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me.

I am myself. Me. I am. Me. Lone? I.

I. Me. I. Forever. Am I alone in me?

I am alone. Am I alone. I am not alone.

I am alone. Am I alone. I am not alone.

He, she, them, we, they, them… all?
Not without me, myself and I! Heck, no.

Ex.2

YMYMYMYMYMYMYMYMYMY
You… Me… You… Me…

(If you read the first line and see “MY”
  over and over, isn’t that normal? Can
  you count how many? Did you include
  those read backward ie (YM)

Fig.2

What is the distinction between “you” and “I”?

Your answer:

What is the dominion of I?

Your answer:

In the first question, the question assumes a distinction between “you” and “I”. Are these:

A) Two (2) words only?
B) Ideas?
C) Both?
D) Neither?
E) Other?

If you marked D, describe your position in 500 words or less. You are dismissed. Thanks.

If you marked A, B, or C, and ask D to explain. All of you read this again asnd again until you understand and get it “right”.

If you marked E, forget all of the above. You are my favorite. I am also going to make you wish you were not. Geez!

Well… the REAL right answer is D or E.
Semantics cannot make a body or be a body.

The most important thing in the world is… no. None of the above. You and I… me and you… we are not things. If we believed in physics and not a god of any kind, we would MANDATORILY have to conclude that an individual equals their mass, mass being “stuff”, they are an animated thing.

Humans are defined as animate being. As a result, there are consequences such as mass disassociation, ironicly people start attending religious gatherings as pure, purest a-theist, self deceive and profess a god, like the Taliban does on the fringest fringe of Islam. When people are told by science or whoever that there is no God… is does no harm to soceity. But look at Afghanistan, so close with Atheistic ex-USSR Russia. Taliban territory. The Pashtun make up 80% of the Taliban. My Sunni Pashtun friend in Kabul is very very light on the religion and humanitarian.

The religious of the world who made the crusades, wars, IRA in Ireland, Israeli-Palestinian conflict… these people are:

  The real atheists.

Next

Does religion suck?

A) Yeah
B) No
C) End all religion
D) Unite all religion
E) Stop mayonaise production in Italy
F) Kittens love me
G) Never forget “Me”… and “You”.

Answer:

Take your phone/ computer, step away/ put down. Find a mirror. Just a sec.

image

Look in the mirror and say:

“Me and you.”

I took me 8 times until I wanted to stop and find a real person BESIDES ME. Enjoy your food, your spouse, your food, your beverage of choice (Me, diet soda, a little Pepsi, Ice water), your family, and what ever is close to your heart. May heaven bless you as your life is now 3 minutes SHORTER for reading HEAR. I hope it was worth it!

Party on in excellence!

   

Ringitty Ring

image

I am fantasticly good looking for 39 (gonna be 40)

Humility is being:

A) Napolean
B) You
C) Ronald McDonald
D) “I don’t know? Lowly and don’t talk about me except in drab terms?”

The answer is:

(Drumroll)

B

. . . . .

Let me tell you- I blog to talk about my life, feelings, health, visceral Viscera stuff because I believe in ME. And its not selfish because my words and praises and struggles are all about the Life Flame in us all. So “Thank YOU for reading”, but in ME is a joy I am happily compelled to share. I am human, spiritual, maybe not totally relative to everyone as I am DIFFERENT… but hey, like Han Solo said in Star Wars, all about his Millinium Falcon and showing off to Leia, all rough, handsome and needy:

   “Hey, its me.”

What a daft quote, but I love Harrison Ford. We aren’t related, BTW. That post was a joke.

I Didn’t Realise How Poorly Educated Americans Are Until I Needed One

The most educated men in America, whether or not they have a BA, MD, PhD are SELF-EDUCATED. Formerly educated people have a BM degree in bs half the time in my opinion- the power to look smart.

Day start

image

    My pre-breakfast, coffee, meds, acetomenophen (high amounts cause liver failure. Im self educated), tobacco, pope in a mag, keys.

   Why tobacco? The AMA preaches now withholding pain meds from people- all opiates. Opiates actually assist bowel function and are natural if used right.

    I am incensed over The control that the so-called “free democracy” of the USA has. I am American and I include Canada and Pope Francis who from South America is the first Ameri Can Pappy in the Papal… EVER. About friggin’ time.

    The USA abuses its lower class and worldwide criticism of America stinks. Tens of millions of us live in poverty but nevermind anyone finding out. I associate with fellow poor people of Africa and in Asia. Its my life. That’s right… I was nominated for a blog last year and the system is like, “Yay, Zaphanathpaneah 17!!”. I live below poverty level… 2 people at $15, 000.00 is technically that.

    But I drive a Mustang after an inheritance. Its used. I also dress well? My wife spends very smart. We qualify for programs. At my eye level I can see the USA going into socialism. It won’t necessarily make anything easier. Its already hard to find work disabled. Even though I am disabled, government computers suggest I work in labor and construction. The government is poorly connected. We are used to not needing government like this as United Staters.

“The First Differently Abled 10 Minutes Of My Day”

By A.Harrison

    When one is disabled you have energy deficiencies in your personal economy. Also, any distractions can throw you off, albeit mentally, physically or both. I just got a ring of the phone, so as I prepared the day after waking only 10 minutes ago, this is what I achieved before the darn phone upset my ears. I have tinnitus too. Yeah. I am 39. Good Morning.

image

First of all, I feel like this…

And…

image

Distractions are like this.

image

I mentally tell myself I am going to be unstoppable.

image

My wife is differently abled*, too, physically, so I have to go pro-protein and NOW.

image

image

She is allergic to soy. Only certain 3.8% milks in the U.S. do not have palmitate added. This is new this year. She is violently ALLERGIC to soy which is in the top 10 food allergies of the world. Less than 1% have the allergy. Dairy companies want to save money. Oh, I keep dodging this phoney additive game. For 7 years of marriage. 8 in May!

image

As long as I am voicing negative, my arm is still sore from IV left IN from my ER stay 4 nights ago. I couldn’t drive back, so I took it out myself. I am trained to place a 22 gauge IV line for my HAE, but I dislike it. I went back calm and let them know. They apologized. I didn’t tell them but that is discouraging. Also, pharmacy messed up an important Rx, not in connection. I am saying disability is hard, so disabled people hide how they survive day to day. But I think if bitterness is avoided, wisdom appears.

More food…

image

If she wants to wake up. Ready made.

image

French press, pre made. I used to work in a Steel Mill. 13 hour shift. I could make coffee without a coffee maker. Sifter. H20. Grounds. I was the sifter.

image

Vit. A & K
Microwave Spinach 1-2 minute w/ water in tupperware. Boom. Vitamin A and K. I’m a marine. Well… maybe “son o Popeye”

image

Cups. Already in dishwasher, clean.
Less caloric W (work). Important for low energy labor. Ergonomics of spirit.

image

image

Bacon easy cook:

Dont open, cut it in half, drop halved bacon into tupperware, microwave in 1 minute intervals, pull apart as they stick. ANY household mom or dad can benefit cooking that way for convenience.

I have to reduce handling time.

I worked also at UPS as a loader. Their ergonomic philosophy is “no double handling”. Fit people say working at UPS is Hell. I did. 4 years. 1996 to 1999 in Portland. Other jobs too. My jobs and discipline helped me to work ergonomicly superior in cashiering, freight and heavy industrial. Now that I have 20% of my original energy, I can do anything by wisdom and with time.

I won’t be doing silly stuff like answering the dumb telemarketer from California. Holy crapola. What is it?- diaper rash? Im closed. Hahaha.

This all I did by getting out of bed like a warrior and in the FIRST groggy ten minutes. I live in a noisy building and got distracted by trying to ascertain if someone needed help. Get a grip people. I am in slow mo. But I am kicking butt.

I need to finish breakfast. I blog as a calming thing and I miss work since 2009 when I was “disabled”. I am not missing too many body parts I don’t think… but my energy sucks.

image

              MR.

image

              Mrs.

Hey! Sorry… was that loud?
You all have a good day!

Elder Abuse: An American Epidemic?

      I… know a guy

   …he got to know his inlaws. In 2006, it was kind of cool. He gained a mother in law and father in law. It was a good thing he got to know them and enjoy having what Americans call the “other Mom and Dad.” In 2010 the mother in law who had cancer, then chemo in 2009- she passed away. The family was there in the end. He went into debt a little bit- he and his wife, taking care of her.

     The debt hasn’t gone away. He became disabled in 2009, so his wife was also disabled, and her dad an amputee. So 3 disabled people were taking care of the mom. I would say she was not dying. That’s too hard to admit. She lived more and more slowly. And she had “C”, not cancer, right? He had become friends with his mother in law. Sure- she was not dying. And the dying- that was nothing. Right?

     Why not? It hurt him really like a stab. She took one or too last breaths. Last? No. Two GOOD breaths. Then no more. A full beautiful life in s troubled world. This world is not the end all, but a shadow on a mirror. Legal, she died. But in existance, biology is one aspect of a type of life. Biology cannot explain thought or love. You cannot examine a living person and read memory. Hm.

      If a person views a year of events, snd their brain records it, its like a spring that is wound. If you exert E- “energy” on a coil, the energy is in the coil. If you drop the coil in labratory acid, the spring is obliterated… the E amount of energy (I asked a physics expert) and the energy moves the acid. Say you do it in a space station at 0 gravity… the acid will have “memory” in the form of the effort and even though the acid goes to a stasis… I believe is would be in MOTION. It would move, forever, because there is a reality.

    That reality is Conservation of Energy. It is a law. So lets say someone secretly did good or saw good or saw bad or did bad, if they died with a secret, the universe would have forensic evidence after their death. The reason is that displacement is legible IF AND ONLY IF eyes exist to see it.

      So a very powerful “alien” with resurrection technology beyond anything we know, could reassemble a long ago deceased person. If the alien was omnipotent, even a super nova in the Milky Way could not erase the person’s energies dispersed and even after 1000s of years, the person could be rebuilt. So we die. But IF AND ONLY IF a great being I call “alien” or super intelligent, can rebuilt them.

     That is beyond the “$6 million” to rebuild a Steve Austin. Seems like a long shot? Maybe not. Makes me want to seek God and BEG and DIG for answers. I call “God” the great alien. Bigger than all the Universe known. The great Alien, I believe, RECRUITS us to think Alien. This is found in religion… but what I am talking about is that people matter- in reality we know… and in super-reality (all that is fact we know, which maxxes out at 1% at best, if we are honest.)

      There is a case for faith. Faith is being certain of what we do not see. I am certain that what people WERE who die is knowable and that they continue to exist in a “flat world”, like sleep. Is that reasonable? I am betting all I am that it is. As a Christian, a human, one with faith and lacking faith, yes I believe that our human fellow, Jesus, was alien to us and resurrected. As orthodox, Catholic, Anglican, a mix- I believe the early Church hope is real. Even after 1981 years- when MY PEOPLE claim Jesus Christ was resurrected and ascended.

    Whoa. What? Yes. I believe that. And so do a lot of you. You may not even realise it, so I am not Evangelical (forceful) trying to get converts. The belief is a heart conviction. Not harsh. Complex for the mind or impossible to intectually make sense. Fact support it. Some of man’s action denies it. Actions like hate against others, despising another for no reason, as man, according to the orthodoxy, is made in the image of God, and the image of God is Jesus as the moon is less brilliant than the sun. And a child of God is like a star, sunny, but not as our central sun beams. The children are significant.

Back to the Dad…

      The dad almost died in 2010 & 2011. In 2012 a caregiver was hired. She was kind of strong willed… but efficient. In 2012 she gave the Dad a secret- very secret… ultimatum without anyone’s knowledge. Can you guess what? She said she would LEAVE him… unless he MARRIED her. He may have some dementia and has had strokes. That she did this is illegal.

       She made him change his will, seized all of his possessions and made him ill-willed at family. So she gets 2 houses and hundreds of thousands of US dollars. 5 weeks ago he called and left a message for his daughter where the caregiver/ wife clearly said, “I wish… you would just die.” The police heard it. I can confirm that I heard it.

      A lawyer to look into annuling the marriage- they DID marry… wanted a huge fee. The son, 62, doesnt have this. You may be angry hearing this. It seems that the house is now for sale. Senior Services closed the house because the 60 year old woman “is nice” to the 83 year old. No. He has been abused. But she hides all that. She moved two members of her family in. She is a parasite.

Word up, Americans- listen! You don’t ever want to have this happen! Watch who comes near your parents! The daughter, 45, was sent an email by the viper, defrauder:

     “You use your dad. You have stolen his money.” Etc. That has torn up the daughter. She is a really, really good friend of mine. Were so close that I have taken on her feelings, and this level of harm feels like its just ripping you apart, daily. The dad wrote her, or called… I don’t know which… and said he’s done with her. Its really, terribly heart-wrenching. A situation you’d never expert with little known remedy. So you might want to pray about elder abuse.

     The woman will pay. The temptation to despise her is high. Sometimes, when life gets bad enough, I just have to chalk it up to, “She won’t live forever… and I’d hate to be her, die and be resurrected and be before God and have him say, what… like, “Hi there. I know all about you. What should we do about this? You were hateful, slanderous, greedy… I don’t allow that in Heaven.” So what is left that is worth keeping?

     I don’t want to judge it. It is terrible behaviour. The family was divided.

    So I think, what is hard- is closure in this world and ASAP. At least he wasn’t killed. We worried that could happen. They are MOVING apparently. Money is deceptive. It doesn’t hurt people. People hurt eachother. This is tiring and greed, as stupid as it may seem, is a reality.

     But God is the surpassing super reality. If God is a terrible word to some, I’d say power + justice + mercy + plus love is Gods hand. If we’d all just bow and talk to the Hand… haha… I think life is better. I will be spending some time lamenting, praying… personally, my father in law has not told ME off. But he is gone now. I want to pray for thi family and I’d appreciate prayer for the DAUGHTER. Of course, I won’t share her NAME. Just pray for:

     The Lily of the Valley in the Shadow of the Valley of Death

    Its scary for Lily. And she is hurting tremendously… and its not remotely fair or a sane situation dumped on her after she’s lost her mom. It needs to get better. For you of faith, I ask for prayer. If you’d be inclined, every day this week and as often as you think of a Lily or flower, thank God for flowers, lillies, roses etc. And that will mean a lot!

Andrew Harrison
Syntax Dream Weaver Ltd. Co.
Of Northwest America & Associates and fans like you

First Blogger

There was an African American musician who died and was famous.
He recorded like 4000 hours of himself talking about everything.

I can’t remember his name. Anyone?

I think he’s the patron saint of the
Wholly Bloglith Church!

He did write his voice, transcribable babble, into analog audio cellophane.

I Once Saw That

I once saw a cat try to show another cat just small affection and that other cat whapped him, looking spitful. The lovey cat was too slow to take it personally but looked stunned as creatures do in the lonesome throes of death where it gets dark… glassy… and it made me feel like shit when I was a kid to see Mitts reject Tuffy and it hurt my feelings.

   But I forgive that little bitchy cat. Yeah. She was a little crank. She was loved too. Oh, schlub. Here I am, all talkin’ about dead cats again. Hey!! That’s crazy. They didn’t escape. I had a dream days before we got them on May 5th (exact) 1983 that in REALITY…
these cats were dna xerox. A dream from God? Hmp. A dream from REALITY.

I worship reality. What here is an object that is real and worship worthy??

I worship Adonai Clarity.
The Blood of the Lion of Judah is
    Living Clearishnessitude.
Period.

“Aqua Plankton”

Actually… I “plank” on AGUA.
I only plank on water.
“Planking”, you know??

Ug…
Here:

image

Laying dead.

image

Laying dumb.

image

But don’t touch!
Yes.
No!- not at an ANGLE.
Not on your FACE, Dead Clarke Kent
Not-super man.

I am KIDDING.
But I DO plank.
Seriously.
On my back.

In the dark.

For hours.

In water…

And I get taken away like Calgon promised so many years ago and NEVER DID deliver.

Instant Theta. Float On. Hawthorne and 40-some, SE, Portland, OR. Owned by Chris and Friends. He had an Altered States uprighter. I never saw her. I heard. Right on. There is your blogspot,
guys! I give you ★★★★★!

Float On: Altered Oregon States

The water is double the saline of the Dead Sea and in a tank. Ever see “Altered States” with William Hurt?

Picture (s) Of Float On Goes Here:



image

I take it to a Theta level and downshift with this auditory PNS depressant that has no name, but a vent. I’ll call it “Snow Vader”. All the bluebirds and robotic feel… no darkside except for the pitch dark and my cerebral electroprocesses will literally have me dreaming while awake… perhaps in only minutes this run.

   This is experiment #5. Data I journal is ambiguous that I experience. Its personal. Fringe art of experience. It works on existential brain centers of reality. Some say, “realization” and make a big hype like its a drug. It affects your body stasis harmony, awareness. It cannot tell you who you are.

   I’d guess the owners would say it helps you realise what is going on deep within and certainly could be a spiritual tool. But so coul a spoon! Stare at it. Someone important is in it!

Float is…

A float tank is an “unspoon”… you spoon with no one. You do not bend the spoon. You ARE the spoon.

The Economics Of Ecclesiastes

Its kind of interesting that arguably one of the most mentally fortified MEN in the world EVER to exist said NOTHING positive about money in all his PROVERBS, ECCLESIASTIES…

The Son of David,
Rich,
Filthy, filthy rich,
He had women all around and anything he wanted he found a way to get.

Got thousands of wives.
Spent Israel’s “resources”
Had a store of gems, obviously LOADED

And gems were used as currency and he says,

“They are fine to gaze upon”.

About women…

“They are fine to gaze upon.”

About life…

He said at a point in his middle years
(Looking back):

“I hated life.”

Hated Life

The richest man, king, Son of David for whom Jews make stars of David for to this VERY day, this rich man went dry inside and had an experience. He hated life.

I am not an anti-suicide coach or a 911 operator. That’s hard. And good for them. But I am a pro-lifetimer.

Pro-life got a bad rap.
So did the Pope.
And Nixon.
So I can’t use THAT term.

I have hated life.
That does not lead to suicide.
It leads to being in others way!
I think people who hate life should be put in prison as instigators.
But they don’t care enough to do ANYTHING but survive, complain and hurt.

In all reality, I believe no one 100% hates life.

If they did, you’d find them with Scrooge and the Grinch making a U-bomb.

You tell ME what a U-bomb is for and you’ll get a prize.

image

No.

image

Yes.
Monkey Chunk-starter wants to bake you a beef cake. He’ll bring it to your door.

No he won’t. Lies.

Anyway, yeah who do you think would win in a hate contest?

I wont say their real names (so Bob & Carl):

Bob:

image

6’10”, Caucasian, age 52, low sperm count, high middle-chlorine count, major mother issues, no father… none!

Or

Carl

image

3’11”, looks like an angry fallopian tube, he can’t count past 7, has an enlarged heart, no gonads like Darth, I mean, Bob, and like Bob, he want to leg-hump the universe apart, the infecund that he is.

Goodness, these boys wished they’d never been born and even then in doesn’t fix anything to say that.

But we know Darth and Grinch… well… grinch would be toast unless he could run from his saber or work with Darth.

I think Grinch and Darth, both being with no possible mate or ability to reproduce would be SAFE together. Essentially, they could be very happy I think. Oh wait- no! They are both good now. Nevermind.