Falling Upstairs

Its creepy to watch and it hurts more.

(I wrote that! Don’t you DARE rewrite it as your own okay go ahead blogs r ded & I’m easy & w/e.)


Running With Scissors In A Yarn-spinning Factory


Do you ever dream of being “precisely negative”? Vocalizing things in your own private arena of annihilation? Really? Wow! TMI! Did I just read your thoughts? I certainly hope not. I already took a bath… selling it on E-bay… claw-toe. Ugh.

Here are a few scenarios of “total hopelessness”:


Mad Max uses steel cable to tie your head to the bumper of a Mack Truck. He sets a bomb for 10 minutes. The cable takes TWELVE minutes to cut thru, but your neck only takes five. Wow!


Your wife goes into labor at the zoo. YOU are stuck behind an elephant crammed in the entryway. Luckily there is a trampoline salesman at the wall. Your wife gives birth in the penguin habitat. YOU are confused and watch a seal give birth TWO HABITATS AWAY! There is more, but this it rated G. Rated PG. Okay… rated R! But I still cannot tell you what happened. But you saw it.


Were the Crocodile Hunter and Crocodile Dundee friends? Probably. Have you ever thought of this? Probably not. I’m sorry, but c’mon… C-R-O-C-O-D-I-L-E. Bah! Hopeless.


Winding down to the number one “Hopeless Scenario”, what if the “Happy Days” mom “Marion” and Marge Simpson met? What if they met? What if… they…


You successfully run thru a “yarn-spinning” factory with a GIANT scissors SAFELY, but at the end you realize you are only a spool o

f y

a r


Dang! Well, this is an exercise in futility. Its over forever.

Later, hash-taggers.


Uncle Yuk

No Forethought Whatsoever: Writing What Comes To my Mind NOW And Truthfully


This is nothing new for me to write as I speak in the now. I think I’m going to make this about “being real”. The above photograph is of me in a small market (large West Coast chain) called Trader Joe’s. I took this picture to try to look cool, like Bill says in kill Bill 2… Trying to look cool. I sat with the toilet lid down… I sat on the toilet wearing slacks, blazer, Turquoise stone bolo tie worn off the collar.

Matrix style sunglasses, hair colored. If you were to see me as I am now and I would put a Longshoremen’s Hat on my head, you would see a man that looks like an imam (Muslim pastor) possibly because my beard is now 2 inches long,  70% white like the teenagers at my alma mater high school – 70% white. I am white. Technically Arabic is white. Did you know that? That is a funny thing about the world.

I have always had the ability to be a master of disguise with no international agenda and perhaps an imagination greater then the cartoonists it came up with boo-boo bear. So I guess the topic I picked is me. I’m not ashamed- I’m going to make this interesting. The worst thing I ever did is… Just kidding! See? Already interesting.I’m serious about making this interesting though.

Me. My name is Andrew Harrison. My  born legal name is Andrew and then something else. I thought with such seriousness about changing my last name that I did. It’s like going from Orlando Magic to the Chicago Bulls- instead of being a poof of magic YOU’RE A BULL. Neat and concrete. I don’t know anything about psychological sciences concerning identity and name changing. I was nuts before and still am. Oh well!

I spent so much time bullshitting. Yeah in life and writting blogs too. Syntaxsinner is one and there is one other before this one I got some notice that the blogger the year 2013 “liked” my blog Zaphanathpaneah17. That did not give me a euphoric high… I don’t know maybe more like it made my literary Cessna fly with squeegee clean windows and the orange sun came through while going over Alaska instead of Kansas.

I don’t know how many different kinds of writing there are, and I really don’t care… but I’ll tell you as a kid I never really cared for that trick that chubby kid to do with the stomach to make it look like a flopping face. I don’t have anything against BBW fat people. I’m a bigger guy and actually its not fat. Oh and not muscle, either. It’s a surprise I keep to myself and a thorn to my super powers of compassion and stuff. I do not look absolutely hideous but I DO have a rare blood condition where I get internal bleeding of blood fluid, not blood- all the time in my gut. Long story short I look like for Flintstone with the beard on the Hanson with a bowling ball beer belly in the front like I’m four months pregnant as a man. I play it off like a NOT-alcoholic beer drinker with spare tire fat from jolliness drinking beer.

Wake up, folks. Not you. You. Heh heh.

The truth is that I had to quit drinking. Pretty much. It didn’t help the pain and I found the right meds for all of that shit, but I’ve had near death experiences- none of us make it. Just kidding. Seriously we don’t. Just kidding, relax!!  I get edema in the abdominal cavity like hare kate. Look up HAE. It causes pain to the nerves where one gets a gut feeling. “Pain” is the word I could use over and over but that’s just a very dark black pen- pain comes in a pallet of various colors. I’d say a rainbow of pain but the word rainbow is used by special interest groups that I don’t have an interest in. Poor rainbow in the sky. Even Ronnie James Dio put it like this:

it’s like a rainbow in the dark

So I’ll use that. That’s what warms me as I face death whether tomorrow or 30 years from now. I won’t use the Pink Floyd prism. It’s got to be misty like a grapefruit. And within. Electricity. Maybe. It’s turbo in me. Messianic transformer is zapping my thoughts this week asking how do you think you would kill yourself and I told him. I said HOW they did not seem to hold it against me. I think I am being used for suicide research in Heaven’s lab for a better tomorrow. Who am I, Hellboy? I told the Angels. Or if you will, the voices in my head that are not wrong ever. I live in Oregon, human, age 41, sane. Be afraid? I’m human not angel. I am possession of El. El Shaddai. NOT cool. That is Jesus’ Father. Is there love? Yes! Am I hurting? My skin is warm all over right now. I am a powerful man alive! Whoa! My post!

my post is toast…

jesus as end-game zaphanathpaneah

Game Over

Do you wish to continue?

5, 4, 3, 2…

(I am a top motivational speaker “runner up”. I cannot RUN and I am not UP TO SPEAKING. Oh well. Thank you for reading, but only if you are human.)


The Silent But Deadly Tree

“If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it- DOES IT MAKE A SOUND?”

According to the “Double-slit” experiment, NO, but it would still kill a deaf “holographic” bunny rabbit that the Creator made. I like bunnies, material or holographic.

Read more on “Quantum Physics” and atheism. Do they go together, or are THEY immaterial ideologies, too?

Things that make you say,


Er, I mean:


Yes- things that make you go “hmmmm”.