Running With Scissors In A Yarn-spinning Factory

Hi!

Do you ever dream of being “precisely negative”? Vocalizing things in your own private arena of annihilation? Really? Wow! TMI! Did I just read your thoughts? I certainly hope not. I already took a bath… selling it on E-bay… claw-toe. Ugh.

Here are a few scenarios of “total hopelessness”:

#1

Mad Max uses steel cable to tie your head to the bumper of a Mack Truck. He sets a bomb for 10 minutes. The cable takes TWELVE minutes to cut thru, but your neck only takes five. Wow!

#2

Your wife goes into labor at the zoo. YOU are stuck behind an elephant crammed in the entryway. Luckily there is a trampoline salesman at the wall. Your wife gives birth in the penguin habitat. YOU are confused and watch a seal give birth TWO HABITATS AWAY! There is more, but this it rated G. Rated PG. Okay… rated R! But I still cannot tell you what happened. But you saw it.

#3

Were the Crocodile Hunter and Crocodile Dundee friends? Probably. Have you ever thought of this? Probably not. I’m sorry, but c’mon… C-R-O-C-O-D-I-L-E. Bah! Hopeless.

#2

Winding down to the number one “Hopeless Scenario”, what if the “Happy Days” mom “Marion” and Marge Simpson met? What if they met? What if… they…

#1

You successfully run thru a “yarn-spinning” factory with a GIANT scissors SAFELY, but at the end you realize you are only a spool o

f y

a r

n.

Dang! Well, this is an exercise in futility. Its over forever.

Later, hash-taggers.

Luv,

Uncle Yuk

No Forethought Whatsoever: Writing What Comes To my Mind NOW And Truthfully

wpid-img_3703487051016.jpeg

This is nothing new for me to write as I speak in the now. I think I’m going to make this about “being real”. The above photograph is of me in a small market (large West Coast chain) called Trader Joe’s. I took this picture to try to look cool, like Bill says in kill Bill 2… Trying to look cool. I sat with the toilet lid down… I sat on the toilet wearing slacks, blazer, Turquoise stone bolo tie worn off the collar.

Matrix style sunglasses, hair colored. If you were to see me as I am now and I would put a Longshoremen’s Hat on my head, you would see a man that looks like an imam (Muslim pastor) possibly because my beard is now 2 inches long,  70% white like the teenagers at my alma mater high school – 70% white. I am white. Technically Arabic is white. Did you know that? That is a funny thing about the world.

I have always had the ability to be a master of disguise with no international agenda and perhaps an imagination greater then the cartoonists it came up with boo-boo bear. So I guess the topic I picked is me. I’m not ashamed- I’m going to make this interesting. The worst thing I ever did is… Just kidding! See? Already interesting.I’m serious about making this interesting though.

Me. My name is Andrew Harrison. My  born legal name is Andrew and then something else. I thought with such seriousness about changing my last name that I did. It’s like going from Orlando Magic to the Chicago Bulls- instead of being a poof of magic YOU’RE A BULL. Neat and concrete. I don’t know anything about psychological sciences concerning identity and name changing. I was nuts before and still am. Oh well!

I spent so much time bullshitting. Yeah in life and writting blogs too. Syntaxsinner is one and there is one other before this one I got some notice that the blogger the year 2013 “liked” my blog Zaphanathpaneah17. That did not give me a euphoric high… I don’t know maybe more like it made my literary Cessna fly with squeegee clean windows and the orange sun came through while going over Alaska instead of Kansas.

I don’t know how many different kinds of writing there are, and I really don’t care… but I’ll tell you as a kid I never really cared for that trick that chubby kid to do with the stomach to make it look like a flopping face. I don’t have anything against BBW fat people. I’m a bigger guy and actually its not fat. Oh and not muscle, either. It’s a surprise I keep to myself and a thorn to my super powers of compassion and stuff. I do not look absolutely hideous but I DO have a rare blood condition where I get internal bleeding of blood fluid, not blood- all the time in my gut. Long story short I look like for Flintstone with the beard on the Hanson with a bowling ball beer belly in the front like I’m four months pregnant as a man. I play it off like a NOT-alcoholic beer drinker with spare tire fat from jolliness drinking beer.

Wake up, folks. Not you. You. Heh heh.

The truth is that I had to quit drinking. Pretty much. It didn’t help the pain and I found the right meds for all of that shit, but I’ve had near death experiences- none of us make it. Just kidding. Seriously we don’t. Just kidding, relax!!  I get edema in the abdominal cavity like hare kate. Look up HAE. It causes pain to the nerves where one gets a gut feeling. “Pain” is the word I could use over and over but that’s just a very dark black pen- pain comes in a pallet of various colors. I’d say a rainbow of pain but the word rainbow is used by special interest groups that I don’t have an interest in. Poor rainbow in the sky. Even Ronnie James Dio put it like this:

it’s like a rainbow in the dark

So I’ll use that. That’s what warms me as I face death whether tomorrow or 30 years from now. I won’t use the Pink Floyd prism. It’s got to be misty like a grapefruit. And within. Electricity. Maybe. It’s turbo in me. Messianic transformer is zapping my thoughts this week asking how do you think you would kill yourself and I told him. I said HOW they did not seem to hold it against me. I think I am being used for suicide research in Heaven’s lab for a better tomorrow. Who am I, Hellboy? I told the Angels. Or if you will, the voices in my head that are not wrong ever. I live in Oregon, human, age 41, sane. Be afraid? I’m human not angel. I am possession of El. El Shaddai. NOT cool. That is Jesus’ Father. Is there love? Yes! Am I hurting? My skin is warm all over right now. I am a powerful man alive! Whoa! My post!

my post is toast…

jesus as end-game zaphanathpaneah

Game Over

Do you wish to continue?

5, 4, 3, 2…

(I am a top motivational speaker “runner up”. I cannot RUN and I am not UP TO SPEAKING. Oh well. Thank you for reading, but only if you are human.)

The Silent But Deadly Tree

“If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it- DOES IT MAKE A SOUND?”

According to the “Double-slit” experiment, NO, but it would still kill a deaf “holographic” bunny rabbit that the Creator made. I like bunnies, material or holographic.

Read more on “Quantum Physics” and atheism. Do they go together, or are THEY immaterial ideologies, too?

Things that make you say,

“What??”

Er, I mean:

“Hmmmm”.

Yes- things that make you go “hmmmm”.