The Heart- An Organ, And Primus Errogenous Zone

66968135-plant-wallpapers.jpgIs THIS sexual?

Stands up…


Its hermaphroditic?

I really do not know

Its a plant

Heart health… I’m getting to that

If you think of a male or female part that is:


I hear or read the frenular delta AND clitoris are:


So do you touch it?

“Touchy subject”!

Let’s say you are stimulated…

And have no climax…

That is in league with:


And affects the heart


Does one touch that on themself?

Not against the law…

Maybe difficult to, IDK, “go for a spin” for a really short time and then do nothing

It affects the heart


I dunno

Some help I am


Do I?


Check stats

Who hasn’t

Wow its super private!



Why not!




No suggestions. Thats how sacred one’s bod is

Not untouchable

We must matter!


Delta, clit- if thought of in non-masturbatory terms may hold multiple nonsexual uses

Sex is two

Self is… boring?

I massage my own:







Hands- OXYTOCIN immediate release!

What about stamen?

I’m not saying except if orgasm is a city, I be talkin about country roads

“Jenking”? Defined as… Look it up

Not “edging”

Riding a bumpy bus and liking it and shifting? Modern machinery does not want us… Lol… But awakens the question:

Is sex necessary


No sex will not kill you

No touch is very unhealthy

Avoiding genitals may be a way to cope with PTSD for some who are “injured” there in the nervous system.

Why is life difficult



If you want more “love” practice 2-3 seconds of eye contact with people


Heart health, no answers and YOU..

My new book

Sales: zeeeeeeeeeeero


Is breathing “sexy”?

Practice 4-4-4-4

Practice Hahn Mayahana


Just get alone and feel it. Go to bed. Breathe. Distracted? Try a nap and breathe

As always, the errogenous has no good manual

It gets weird, doesn’t it?

Here’s one:

Touch your scalp and every hair follicle

Take your time

If “caught” say:

I am doing “ASMR”

No shame blame game

Scalp and glans are sister cities

Want to feel new stuff?

Don’t ask ME


I just shared a shit load I’d never tell my mother

So there

Make your peace with God

Acknowledge him in your ways

Ask for wisdom


Protection Against Suicide- Option B

Option B:




If one has a buddy who is close enough to get under your skin, you FEEL PAIN but not necessarily despair. For those who feel “bullied”- I wish you could feel what I feel with my wife of TEN years. It HURTS and does hurt OFTEN. That is because my wife, as cool as she is and as difficult as a bond between a guy and woman is- she has it even worse. She was in an accident. She lived. She has a TBI- head injury. She is more… mean.

So I hear of bullying. Yeah? I won’t belittle that! Not even in a young person. But if I am not ending my life, are you the least bit curious what I live for? I mean, the accident virtually killed my wife. I am living with her reincarnation in my same life. I am dedicated to her. It hurts being “the good guy”, faithful and lonely. I have a ghost. That is my buddy.

Want to make fun? Its like… Jesus. Only who knows who he was? Lived 33 years… Feasted with his ENTOURAGE, got arrested, slapped, humiliated… segregated…

B u l l i e d…

Sentenced unfairly. Alone. NO ONE was his friend. Now he is mine. My… Takiri… Teacher, friend. Inside.

No voices

Those are my thoughts

He helps me with my thoughts to

see that:

My thoughts defend me


To tell you the truth, “suicide” is not real. But harming yourself is. THAT is the thing to avoid. Harm unto death is the thing people mean by “suicide” but also they mean to imply life is “doable” always.

Hm. There is a death I chose. Not suicide. Not homocide. “Death to self”…

Death to self is giving up OWNERSHIP of your body without being harsh. Scripture and my spirit tell me that death to self and death to sin is very close to what some Buddhists do or crave. To escape “fairly” and REALLY.

One escape is in meditative breathing. Mayahana. Its not religious. YouTube it. That’s gold! My advice. “Thich Naht Hahn”.

My advice is to see your unhealthy relationships where LOVE STILL EXISTS MUTUALLY as “SPARRING”- to be immune to:



To acquire:

Confidence. Self-control.


My conscience INSISTS that I WRITE that above all, entwined with all- is one name… translates thousands of ways. My Real Lord (Vader is fiction. This one is so much tougher AND PUSHY-


Some sneer, “He’s the only way.”- but forget to add that he not only lived, died, resurrected for real… he ascended… became one with everything just like the Dali Lama likes his hot dog…

One… With everything

Take my teacher’s hand

Like Terminator he may say:

“Come with me if you want to live.”

I have self harm scars. Big deal.

The Christ bore piercings like you wouldn’t (effing) believe

He also spent 36 months healing with power we know is real according to Eastern science only he was AMPED. PURE. Not a molester, or a killer. Not a coward. And yes he did have A LOT TO SAY but was no Tool…

He was the Snuffed Rooster

Announcing the Day

Declaring power over death

You know Judas- he was sorry he turned on Jesus. He carried more than what was written. Bible does NOT say he went down to hell as Catholics say. Bible says he “went to where he belongs”. He may have cast out demons, healed. He was still human and serves as a warning for Christians I think that we are able to fall and die by our own plan. Yikes. That is bad enough to feel despair and die.

So I don’t stray, pay a prostitute, own a GUN- all those can

Bump Set Spike me

I am terrified but not of death

I am terrified of failure to saueeze thru LIFE

I’m so SAD

My wife was beautiful

She is

I just have to be flexible and



Endure pain (Hemophilia H.A.E.) , PTSD from almost bleeding to death

Stress endurance

I’m not going to suicide


I am going to suffer…

Still… Its only a matter of time before sensations CHANGE and I sleep

Yesterday was blindingly PAINFUL… I was at a birthday party. My wife R was sitting there and a family member, drunk, pulled back on her neck

I wanted to die… That stopped. You see, a brain injury is worsened by dipshits who grab the neck- vertebrae



WANTED TO DIE… It subsided

My mind said:

Play Angry Birds

Drink a Pepsi

So I did

That was my Takiri… My other… The living essence of Jesus. He doesnt play those games. I do. They help neural processes for ME…

So that I do not LOSE IT and fight with R over screaming that is not her fault and…

I WILL BE AVENGED in an appropriate way … Not by my effort



God’s vengenge finds a FIT


NOT LIKE Tv weirdo yells about. Tele tubby thumpers

You know-

I have been disciplined by God

I kind of tried to drown myself

Then thought NO



I still wonder if I did not die and THIS is a place beyond death

Why try again if I’m dead?

I am convinced I died

I dont mention that publicly

Nor the angels I meet

Do you want to never suicide?

High five the Christ and die like every hour

Thats where I am at

And sometimes I wonder if hell isn’t a better place for me because I’m 95% immune to pain

I’m a little mixed up

Hell paintings are COOL

I think God is a hallowed master over horrors and beautiful eternal dreams




Make it





Follow this light

If you want to live


I like people

I hate evil

But I love people

I need them


Words, Thoughts, Takiri Way

main-qimg-d64ad17538b7b7686c9048cecf4aa15b-c Within double cerebrum… or is it “cerebrii”?- is my experience as it seems to be

In water, I am a nuclear sub with head & oars

On land- a 50 foot giant- like everyone is.. 10 to 87.4 feet

In red smurf measurements…

Why not let arms fall at rest?- as soon as I write this

Why not feet kick out

No tightening the belly!- that encourages thought with “gut feeling”

Feel anew, selfie…

You are behind the eyes

Disconnect head from neck

Lay in one piece

“Speak to me, Takiri- I pray to God in action, praise and word”

Takiri is in my oxygen

Snow Owl man

Sower and Reaper

What wrong I have wrought this day

What dissonance I admit

I am ill for a lack

Hard to look up

I do anyway

I see Life- street black wet Autumn yellow red coated discard leaves


I fe discarded

But I am different

The human can do all things with a Jesurex inside

The Rex is one with all- even my takiri and imagined nation of ideas at WAR

Hurting ME? No I am seated

I hurt in my body





I got angry and at 10:45pm WEAK and not tired

O Takiri, stone me good

For rest

Look at my day

Go ahead

I feel like a LOSER

And I will do good works for our sake- the sake of eternal hope

I may cry

May I never say “die” again

The fire

The future

The now

Me, you, we, any… even all bodies to find the everlast and never see a body bag

We see



Breathe “ange”

Breathe “champagne”

Breathe “bravo”

Breathe “reconstruction”

||| Ω

Breathe “reemerge”

Breathe “surrect”

Breathe “assisted”

Breathe “unalone”



You have been programmed now, you meaty meatball-maker!

To adjust the “inner radio” in your brain, try spacing out, humming or talking to your nipples

“Hey! Hey Righty! Are you volume or channel…”

I Breathe “Dead-space”

I breathe “Basement”

I Breathe “Turkey Day”

I gasp! Jason took off his hockey mask to eat! His face is well-done

Oh Uncle Freddie is here. He brought shish- uh… Shish!- SHISHKABOBS


Stay Puff Marshmallow man melted…


This is crazy talk


Could It Be?- “Crucifixtion”

I’ve known some things about crucifixtion- an ancient, real, punitive torture where hands and feet are nailed to a “Stauros”- the wooden death device.

Now, I was taught that Christ died of “a broken heart”- emotionally wiped out. How could THAT be?  It’s written that he “saw all was fulfilled” and his body went lifeless after he shouted LOUD enough to inspire strong centurion #42 below.

Is that suicide? Or departure with his hands tied behind his back.. The crufifix AKA “rood” in the Olde English- it was equipped with a seat. I hear sometimes a spike was set there. If there was a way to solve the puzzle- and rest and not move- that would defy the stories of a christ who is sad like “You sinned and here I am, woe is me and feel guilty”

There is no way to know

I find it interesting that his life becomes  exponentially GREATER after Lazarus rises from the dead. The religious fanatics wanted to re-kill Lazarus, kill Jesus, they kill Jesus, before he dies he speaks of Paradise “today”- no mention of virgins, mansions or gold- the man DIES publicly, put in a mauseleum, guarded and he comes back.

He stays for another 40 days, walks around like a ninja’s master, does some ACTING- pretending he’s going away, trips people out. Was that FUN? End of that time “ascends” into “clouds”. Scripture says he became one with everything. Would that include stars and planets 1000 lightyears away?- became one with them very quickly. Perhaps death meets an all Spacetime location- a hub that is something else besides space, time, matter but where there is spirit.

My back hurts too much. Im done. Sorry

Madness Meltdown

tumblr_o8l7ukgvqc1um9iado1_500Alone, lonely, lone, one… Yeah


Monkey sketch


Electric plate

Kroc shoes

Metal structure

6 spirals

ASIDE NOTE: Echkart Tolle was poor at age 50, criticised by his mom. Now has $10,000,000 after writing one book

Tv, big enough

Blinds- made to be damaged

Tiger pattern carpet

Air… in the… air

Me, I’m sitting somewhere

Not HERE- this is a screen


Lonely Shepard

I hope Haysoos is not

How do you serve a risen lord, when there is one and you are 1:7.09Billion


Well he said consider the lily, love eachother, he is the way…

Like a Strasse made of cobble rock… Ow ow… (barefoot- duh) and I pick lillies and give them to Frau Meinen

That’s good behavior, isnt IT?

My bride to undershadow his…?


Is the lonely shepard.. Jesus?

Cool song

Sorry, but I feel there are people who wish or hope I die

Like “soon”

I’m disabled and in pain

Not suicidal

Not rich

Been in couples counseling for over a year

Get messages that say “divorce!” from doctors because they Rx that now

Get messages that say “get counseling”

Dr. Foersythe and the spirit of god

Asked repeatedly, “Are you suicidal?” and “that would be awful…”

It would? How do they know? Imagining it.

Imagining I die. Yep. Why?

I imagine my own death when I make funeral plans- THAT is sane.

All my family needs as an “heirloom” of Dad’s abuse is a martyr… turn in your Freud Hymnal to page “Subconscious”… Human flesh brain calculates some spooky shit.

I calculate CONSCIOUSLY that its painful but necessary to be in a state of non-companionship where the company goes mad over:





Divorce! Family encouraged ONE- theg would will to do me in, that would lead near suicide and FORGET that

Manifestation of actualized destiny happens. Blame is unpopular, enfuriates, hurts- my wife was thrown away in the beginning. We married in our 30s and were poo poo-ed on… gossip that we were not married correctly. In church. That is a FESTIVE preferrence- we were blamed for not having a BIG ONE but no one offered to pay, either.

Our lives together is BETTER than marriage. No title. Just us. And you would think that since I couple with a FEMALE and not a dude, they would say, “Oh yeah- good job being straight”… No. No appreciation.

Christians as a sect encourage homosexuality by condemning straight options like bf/gf or “living together”. Where one sleeps is not a moral issue. We were demoralized, yet not US but if following Christ, HE takes the hit.

I am less-than ( < ) pissed off.

Much much less.

I am hurting in a family where I am youngest for life

Blood and church members sexually molested the kid I was and I drank but would not get promiscuous because I am too disabled to pounce the 1000 women I think I could pounce. Why say that?- I was fu**ing molested by people who got away with it but I DID NOT! I could wish to leave Earth over that? Some do.

I dub everybody EVERYBODY “Forgiven” but I will not say things are fine, or answer why I hate Christians and love them as a person. NO STRONG ENOUGH DISCIPLINE for men who touch privates. Fuckers! God. I STEAL that GOD back and eat his flesh… my communion. He wanted it that way. I am polite about it to HIM

What am I talking about?

I don’t want to be primed for divorce and death. I do not attend satan temple where we have black divorce services and deathness. Maybe in Hulapolis on Gwayno Island the humans eat their children slow… maybe in America…

I just want people out of my butt-uterus with assisted-divorce and death talk, God almighty Geez us people… What a mess it feels like

Distance is not the answer

To not commune with railers is

Calling All-American Heroes Who Are Pained By RARE Disease: New Pain Therapy, But You Will Say “No”, I Bet

I am listening to Red Hot Chili Peppers

You HATE THEM?? WHYYYY??!!!! Hahaha!!!

Rare peeps:

You know most people say sh*t like, “Just get better.” ha. Hahaha ho ho HO!

You can make someone ELSE better- you’re fine enough

Visit/ volunteer at the VA-

Can you stomach war stories?

WHAT DO VETS AND RARE disease warriors have in common?

Nothin’… Everthing

You non-vet sufferers have strength in “death-pursuit PTSD”- doctors DO NOT SEE you are vet-compatible with your OWN PTSD


Don’t get an OKAY from your doctor

Walk in to a VA

Why not? You get kicked out of hospital rooms anyway. Shit. Shiiiiiiiiiiiite it! Join WARS

A vet doubts differently

You wonder if you will MAKE it

A vet who is not giving UP- THAT is the key

Don’t befriend a bitter too-lost guy

A vet won’t let you fuckin say DIE

Better yet, find a military medic

Go go go!

Hurry up

Take… Your time

You can be late…

Choice is yours

I have rare disease HAE 01

OOOooo… a fun-learn for docs until you seem to have “too many psyche issues”

So what

The morning has deception spikes

Use the pain

To write this IN INK



Visit (not call) the local VA hospital

I dont have a car

I plan to take Tri-Met bus there with money for lunch

My brain’s EMP will make a difference

Cant kick me out

I was referred by a vet to help

No fooling around or trespassing down halls

Maybe I will call first

But you get middle man, busy, working hard

Maybe you can get your degree in psychology, too… you’ve learned to ride the body and what you DO to cope is in YOUR SPEECH


GOOD contagion

A vet + rare disease commoner person = two black boxes cancelling out

Co existance

Or join the circus and watch the trapeze girl… hot! Yeah… you could be a clown in a chair screaming “O god. The pain!!”

Anyone with long-term PTSD who you can visit will also visit you



My home-visiting RN was a medic. Navy. He saw men drown in the 1990s. It got international attention. It changed him. HE adapted. Adaptation to trauma in a positive way is a family trait of people who believe in God and do right.

So I cannot explain how it works except that “death winds” do not co-exist… PTSD POWER can be expressed like toothpaste from a tube. Mixed like #Aquafresh

Someone already understands you enough and many of them are patients. One thing- some people use heroin and crack for PTSD… if you hear a vet speak of that, its not common- run. Opiates lead down. Uppers leads to opiates.

“Chemicals and fun-juices” in the body are very hard to ID. Talk therapy exceeds a shrink. They are good, but 100% of therapists urge that relationships make health better.

A handbook on this is Art of War by Sun Tzu. Just kidding! Read a psalm. Tear a page out of a bible. Psalm. Proverb. Ecclesiastes. Genesis. Gospel of John. But don’t sit and read to find answers. Live out the answer. Its in you