Apollo Yawn

Angel destructor Apollyon flew over my head… Banshees over my viscera screamed, “Your doctor does not care if you DIE!!”. I say back, composed:

I am the apollo… I have my doctor in my iBod..

Banshees: “Stupid you! You need a degree!”

Me: “I do.”

Banshes: eh?

Me: I have a private anarchy cookbook I wrote in my head on how to make MDMA better-than-ecstacy fibro pain med in a soda made at home, and I can make intravenous opium at 1/3 the strength of ED morphine.

Banshes: That IV crap? You went into shock

Me: And I never felt more alive

Banshees: Failure!

Me: No, I will just smoke the raw opiate. And the dextrorphan I no longer need because it permanently muted my nervous system. I rock. Scary stuff. God gifted me with ThinkTank. Wisdom too. Doctors cannot condone this. I cannot haphazardly tell anyone. But others do this too.


Pharmaceutical Companies:

Hurry up

Hurry up and legalize the dextromethorphan poli analogue opiate


Apollo Yawn

Ps (I am yawning because I am tired of waiting on news of new wave of safe non-addictive dxm-1248163264128-anon. And on and on… Fibunachi on…

Profits NYSE hue mongus green

Back to you a bless-ing

Apollo’s wicked children are so now A-OK with me

But I wish for death daily

Abandoned with no GP because they say Herefmditary Angioneurotic Edema is a split borderline personality in me and blame me for costing $5,000 in ER to save my pain and life

Fuck them

I’m a god too

I can do brain surgery reading the Bible

Chapter 19

Apollyon descends to Earth and … I don’t know- “WASTES THE FUCK OUT OF EVERYONE! Rarr!!!”- I don’t know

I am not a christian or a priest molester. My Mayahana faith is strong. Geez, I even like your Jesus- all the lectures my Christian Scientist christian dad delivered, being a gp but letting me go into hypovolemic shock and HE with his APOLLO authority spread to all doctors that I was bipolar. He knew damn fuckin well I had HAE.


INTERNAL BLEEDING of plasma… 15 lbs in 20 minutes tearing a 13 year old boy’s gut open- I have TWO fucking hernia scars like two vaginal birth holes. Shit! And I still love my dad. Super smart and a total asshole until he had a stroke. His brain swollen and eyes popping, yellow says to me:

“Andrew.. I am scared.”

Fuck you doctor dickweeds

I nursed and doctored an all time loser! My evil dad. I forgave because everyone else in the fam is not as intelligent as me and him. He screwed up. In his stroke, I saw hereditary angioedema swell his brain. A third of the stars of synapse energy left his brain. Dragon swipe? Meteor.

He refused cumadin. Stupid! Stupid! Called it rat poison. Arrogant. Foolish. A better man than me, still. I was an amoral alcoholic good for nothing. Now I do patient advocacy, voice lightly that Delsym is not just for coughing. It improves other things. It contains dextroflubber- useful for diabetis, fibromyalgia, combat nerves, and illicit blood pressure games by mongloid goth kids afraid to play with themselves. They get high to unfeel. Well a lot of those kids (DXM Facebook) are awesome, now. They used, STOPPED, and monitor the site for humanist endeavor. I helped a little. I got addicted to Triple Cs in analogue form found at Dollar Store. OHSU branded me an OPIATE USER from my scars from repeated infusion. I am banned from ER. So it is up to me to face a larengeal swell and die gasping in hell. I have a plan ready to produce CO gas in a Honey Bucket outhouse by the nearby baseball field. All I need is 30 briquets and a match and note. If I am swelling in the throat.

There is a 5% chance I will. I bet throat closure makes you bigger than Jesus Christ. I’m good. I mean I think if I get rocked, the aliens Carl Sagan dreamed of will watch impressed. Then karmic winds of condemnation and funny accidents of “chaos” will come alive. Doctors who cursed me will get sick, slip on a bar of soap. I will laugh. You still will never suffer like I did. For 40+ years. I glory over you.

Walk in my light. I am a little moonbeam. I do not like doctors. I love them like my dick of a dad who was a genius. Ya cannot throw away genius.

Doctors, sit down. I can roast you like YouTube roasted cops for brutality. Read:

You have done great things

Like act like god more than be godlike

We don’t need ego

You do

Super ego max

Be nicer


1% of your patients are intelligent

98% are sheep

The rest are genius and you either like me and my genius friends or are schizoeffect paranoid

I will never sue a doctor… unless I feel I can follow thru

I’d rather spank your face

This is largely for male doctors

My female doctors have a special body with me- my cerebral knowledge of carnal cerebrum in verbal intercouse leaving them aglow

I am the cult of personality

Purified by fire and time

I will have a Win Win Win before 2020 CE- mark my words, I will aggressively negotiate, one patient at a time my advocacy, but to ALL and on this rare occasion I say to ALL:

Doctor, patient… Me We

What the hell?!


The GREAT AMERICAN HAPPENING IS a modern revelation coming not of God magic in sky but sky INSIDE every American somatic body, human, male, female- awareness of RAW HEALTHY BEING and fuck opiates. Go to Kenya- get heroin in the hospital.

No opiates is the first WAVE of secularized Buddhism in America without even trying. It is very EASTERN to not use drugs at all…


effing BRAVO!!!

I hate every day without breaks

I make my own

Whether 50mg dextrophan zet at 65 cents per day

Or going to my own homemade cube pool of semi-salinous water I have set at 99.5 F… Scorpian yoga pose, upright… 2.5 hours. I fall asleep, hit theta state and see shit and dream with my eyes open. You want to be me, then ask. I read my inbox here. Some of my info is FREE.

I want to make a living too and get off of disability and kick American’t ASS

One friend at a time

Swift into the right cheek!!

No bruise, no assault charge

Lift booty up

If you crash- you should have worn a parachute around me…

I float like a bumble bee

But I am only a www web log blog



“I Don’t Feel Loved”


I’ve thought this before


Yesterday, now

Its 5:41

My FIL died and menopause and ptsd and cannot sleep back pain *Bingo*

Bingo = I must love not “conceptual self” but CARE FOR the bod of me:




Think and pause- do not dwell too long on anything

Back pain- suicide ideation… wrote it down… Took a picture, valuing ny dark expertise in escape… Find the better deal is revenge and not escape

Not lawless, I do as I please, aim to keep my nose clean, walk barefoot in snow, e-mail the Kyron Horman Foundation and write “I have been a victim of crime (true), so BLESS you.

Because they must feel losses and victories in small ways like I do. I don’t want Kyron’s dad not to know that God gives power to boys in peril and not to fear. I am alive and broken. I may as well, inspired by the KH Foundation offer my gifts of insight to the FBI, not if I saw anything, but if I was cleared, to feel any evidence to tell them what I FEEL.

I believe material things can be programmed, not with scent but atomic lacing. Something you would find in reiki. Christians do not like reiki so it must be real. They call psyche evil. Psyche is all and everybody. I had a 1″ minature slug. It signaled to my occular senses that it was content. It froze. I put salve on it and it stretched to 3”. Almost kinky, I felt for its alien need and that was “creature care”. It signaled fear. I saw an orange aura of an image of its dark little soul. It was exceedingly creepy. Creepier than the slug slime. Not evil. Ghastly and sacred. Hallucination? Yes. The picture was made in my occular senses and the slug was a little witch. Sure. Did you believe all that?

I know humans emit a readable EMP. I volunteer to loiter legally at my city’s airport and look/ watch. IRL, no camera sees the presence like mano a mano, but I do not stare. I look thru. I was almost killed by a bad guy when I was barmitzfa age. I am broken and better- paranormal I see daily. I get sick of it.

Like when a little girl screams for FUN

That pitch should be in a cop’s arsenal or used for jogger defense! Everybody wants to save a little girl! Max attention = rapist, mugger FLEES

Golden Gate Lemming Drops











Railing photo memorial





An American



For survivors

For loss

For prevention

To decrease






Coast Guard



I think

That what I think




So I web log


Blog it


For the 8th time

Not including city e-mails

To nice ol’ SF

That living photos


Would be

The greatest American not-blog

Logging life


The deceadants appeared







A Christmas home

A real heart wrencher

To a lost sheep


Or do we enjoy

Autonomous autoviolent video

On YooHoo tuber?

I do not

Suicide is too “too”

For that Bay Area

I am guessing

A weird freedom

It would be cooler

To die

Of cancer

Cooler to challenge

One’s own spirit

To stick-with-ship

As it is


Is getting

What they need and want

Insanity sugar coated?

Looney Tunes “Now I’ve seen everything”… Aaaaaaaaaaa… * BURST *



Ship cruise up


Why not leave the fallen leaf

Like Autumn

Why scoop up biological mass?

120lb female

310lb male

167lb young male

110lb young female

Brady Bunch it

Why not have Mike Carol Alice Cindy Bobby Greg Marsha Peter Jan and Tiger all go over together?

Like the great accident in 1824 AD during the Great Depression

Casualties did not exceed what was expected

Yet now

They have

The bridge glory

Illusion of grandeur


Is natinally known

And seen

Help has arrived

From the East

I am Thich Quack Duck

The non aqueous non immolater Mayahana crimson lotus maybe-maker

I say YouTube: Mapo

Or we will never see a decrease

Or just “hope” elsewise

Never too late

No fear

No shame

Writing this kills me

Its so boring

And I am not sure jumping is ultimately bad

But for Coast Guard ptsd I write


Today’s Huck Finn Is A Go

Rush me


Yen Zen

Flat Zenith pow-pow


The Turn of the Screw (Classic): A Play Adaptation. Finally!! In Pdx, OR


1126 se 15th
Tickets $18
Thursdays thru Sundays 7:30pm
Now and until Oct 22


From my elementary school.
Amanda Boekelheide (pretty, huh?)… in:


    See how frighteningly beautiful it can be and leave with no guilt.

    HEY! I’m talking to Terra L.S.! This post is for HER! Oh geez. I forget this reaches 900,000 people. Yeah. All of you ignore this!!! Except Terra.

The result of ONE screw
gone a’missing. Shit.

    OH! Hey now you self effacating melon farmers!
If your name is Bill, Jane or Osworth… this is for you too I guess. I am not going to the play.

An actress named
“Sara H _ _ _ _” once tried to split me in half from my wife with the promise of a cocktail and a stay at her apartment. I drank alone and STILL my wife thought this Don Juan was near ‘wanding’… wandering… with just a phone call. I don’t trust actors. Dangerous… toothy… sparkley… and gay. Olde gay. Not pink gay.

     Now it feels like everyone is flirting. Screw it. Now I ask directly if someone is attracted to me. If they get mad or turn the screw on me like I have an AGENDA on them, I hang it up. I don’t mess around with people who feel they can disrespect my wife by speaking to me like my wife. One woman is allowed to push me uncomfortably towards her. My wife.

In a troupe of actors when my marriage is seeing trouble that is the last place I need to go. I used to act… to get women into bed. Long long ago. That part of me is dormant and will NOT die until I do.

I process the data. I am funk-aut. Functional autistic. Life is hell. I make erotic art and feel only spirit 99.94% of the time. Ta-tas n hoo hoos… long hair and booze…

     But………………………………………………if you live in Portland, OR put down $18 or eighteen crowns and see these clowns do pro art f-16 low and slow acting excellence. If you do I will mail you a puppy.


|||||| after show post bonus||||||

I just smoked some crack, ate a ding dong, shot heroin, smoked weed, a ciggy, had a bm and told someone else’s kid he is a fart machine.


Willy Wonka… you ARE the father!!

(Mrs. Butterworth DID Willy.
I call them my Mom and Dad.
Sweet parents.)

Just kidding. I know that on July 4th 1973, you and Dad had some wine, went to bed, did NOT sleep and ____ _____ _____ _____ ____ ____ and ____ ___ then _____. So the stork brought more wine. Lazy ass stork- because Dad COULD not ____ ___ or ______ ____.

I know too much. My pre-fetal ghost SAW it all. I forgive you Daddy and Mommy. You looked like you were in pain. I yelled to try to stop the ___ ___ ___ ____ _. No. Its a LIE…..


Fine… uh- no.




1126 se 15th
Tickets $18
Thursdays thru Sundays 7:30pm
Now and until Oct 22


From my elementary school.
Amanda Boekelheide… in:


    See how frighteningly beautiful it can be and leave with no guilt.

    HEY! I’m talking to Terra Lang! This post is for HER! Oh geez. I forget this reaches 900,000 people. Yeah. All of you ignore this!!! Except Terra.

     If your name is Bill, this is for you too I guess. I am not going. An actress once tried to split me in half from my wife with the promise of a beer. I drank alone and STILL my wife thought this Don Juan was near ‘wanding’… wandering… with just a phone call.

     Now it feels like everyone is flirting. Screw it. Now I ask directly (not A-Boek) if someone is attracted to me.
I process the data. I am funk-aut. Functional autistic. Life is hell. I make erotic art and feel only spirit 99.94% of the time. Ta-tas n hoo hoos… long hair and booze…

     But if you live in Portland, OR put down $18 or eighteen crowns and see these clowns do pro art f-16 low and slow acting excellence. If you do I will mail you a puppy.





   I watched a porn where this married couple was doing fine. Whatever. Wife on kitchen table on the phone

Amatuer wife on the phone while hubby ****s her


Why post?

Because there is a miniture LASSIE under the table. Pops her head up. Like me, doesn’t give a ****.

Do I look at porn

On occassion. Not really.

Do you feel bad?

No. They are real people. Just curious. Not “buy” or “download” curious. Just… curious.

Curious to see what it makes me feel. Does it turn me on. I get infusions via RN 72 hours. If I cannot have this type of time I guess I think it keeps me just a little sane to watch a short story about inherent love needs. I’d rather die than do one wrong. A bit strict a spiritual man is. I am just a man too.

     There is something about m/f mono sex that tells the big story. Snake in the garden. Bride of Christ. Unite Christ with a prostitute? Never. May it never be.

    But lets not all play stupid all the time… sometimes men like to see naked ladies. Compare themself to the nude dude. Or be fascinated by media + desparation physicality. Not a real great job.

      But “amateur” categories
show real couples. It is not unlike watching a baby being born on camera or watching a cancer patient die. I did. It was not awful. It was sad and serene.

     I hope I make “the dead” proud in heaven. I wish I could join them today.

    I am joined. God sees them and me simultaneously. I am already IN heaven. I just have not co-heired footstooled the Earth yet. I am very sad. My wife is flustered that I could die naturally. It is in nature where I have HAE. An HAE death is asphyxia. I have come close to dying, seen lights.

      I don’t believe in God as punisher. Sonship is free for all. You can skip porn but do not skip Jesus. Am I a hypocrite? No. I am free. I can do all these things! Not all are good. But in my life, all is okay. Made okay. I am worked on. Open. To him. A little to all others I am open, too.

    One must define “porn” or not. One may feel erotised in a bad way for them. Then do not look at porn. 30 sec is fresh air to me. I am often in too much pain to direct a movie with no cam at home.


      The world is full of

I think ima gonna watch you tube now. Maybe tsunami stories of survival. I am lonesome for big hearts.

     Hoodly hoo!


I am the pepper shaker boy

hovering over your dinner table


Warning FRAUD announcement re: 1-800-collect and telecom

     before I start I would like to say something. it is possible a blog can be used as a service announcement
machine. This is such a blog.

Here we go:

       if you tried to use 1 800 collect yesterday, you may have been told by the computer that you won a contest for $100 gift certificate to target

in my case the so-called pr ize- it was to the nice store Target  for $100. not being racist but the receptionist was a male and from India. he wanted me to give my debit card number to him. I asked if he was from India- he said no. but when he spelled my name out… he says Harrison. He spelled back like
H as in house
as an apple
R as in really
R as in really
I as in India

The “I” as in India push me over the limit of my trust

I got on 2 payphones diverted to speak:

     YOU WIN $100 gift

    I stayed on. They asked for $6.99 shipping and what is your debit card please. I decline d.

don’t feel very well.
Wife is in the hospital yesterday

Good one

   Great one. Scam. 99% sure.

   To the GOOD COMPANY 1800collect… I believe in YOU!
Just called your operator and yold the youngun to pass on to his sup.

Also…  please reward me-

   I/c A. Harrison
   10554 se main st. Ste 308
    Milwaukie oregon

It is a matter of need. They say I won $100. Please mail me $100. I am poor, ill with HAE & I love you… but I love my wife more. She was in ER. I was trying to call her.

  I tried a second time.

  It said I win on ANOTHER payphone

   I tried a third time

    Charged $15 as the scam was over maybe. Window of op. sorry I write short I am tired.

Please at least $15
The third time I was testing it
It went through
I actually did not want it to go through
$15 to you. I will sacrifice to $15 to you just this once

someone please mail me a $15 check to the above address.

if I get more than $15 I will spend it on food for my family etc AND if I get too much, I will ask people to stop

Thank you and have a good morning!


           Me in jean shirt.
           My #1- Rose.

also this is important:
I have gone to ER twice in past week
I am afraid I could die. most realistic is a stroke. I have also been depressed suicidal thoughts etc. It must be the painkillers that I can even write. My vision splotchy and heartbeat so hard at this point.

so much bad luck I have. but I try to be a good luck charm. I am a child of light.
I do not feel white. please help us. anyone. I may have a fancy blog, but for some reason I don’t have good connections with any family.
are always going towards bankruptcy, sick a lot, my wifes not perfect person but dont you tell her that I said that. who has been at odds with my wife- my mom.

two people who feel they need to be perfect and perfectly fight. I do not want to bore or bother you for more information you out there. problems I have. Yoda I can imitate. but going without food, gas, money for rent- its beyond too much

sometimes I don’t want to be here anymore. but I have an asset status to the church is a God

hello hello hello
is there any body out there








if nothing else I’ll look for you spiritually you pray for me.
you guys done very well pray for me
Josh darn well better at least pray for me yoo hoo Live in the Lord

voice text sure spells funny

if anyone did mail me a check
I will try to write back
some people do just lose money on purpose.

enough about me
I want
you to know something……
I want you to have a good day today just today, that’s all.

Bless you, those who read me