1990 U.S.A.

Haifa, Israeli ferry capsizes

Out of all the loss of life- 21 U.S. Navy. The web report shows 19 or 20. My friend did inventory on body bags the day previous to that horrible night. 21 new bags counted. One new one not used- a man washed ashore in Africa later.

That was 26 years ago. That same year, I was 14 and went into hypovolemic shock at home from a rare blood disease I was born with. That is low-blood volume SHOCK. In 1990, I did not know what it was. I was put on Prozac and was treated for mental illness. Might as well. It ruined my reality.

In 2010, I almost drowned in Seaside, Oregon. Too weak to swim well. I gave up a little and floated better. My friend was a medic and swims like a penguin. I have been floating in pools and hypersalinous tanks for 5 years now. Float On of Portland has a PTSD product- floating. Every state has them.

Shock near drowning anticipation affects real body processes. Feels roughly as bad as hypovolemia- maybe a synthesized pain to shout inside “do or die”. I feel like I have done some of both. It is survivable- to have water in your face, splashing beyond your control. I would have prefered to feel that on land with company, you know what I mean?

My friend is looking for work. I am on SSDI, always thinking of how I can be of worth in service to my nation as a commoner, and here I owe more- our U.S. Navy veterans counsel ME. On not giving up even though life may bucket-suck it.

My bucket list does not excite me. Maybe it would overexcite you. I’d like to braid Katy Perry’s and Lady Gaga’s hair together on top of a big cake for bigamy rights. No just kidding. For my dalliances…

2) I want the USS Saratoga renamed USS Sucotash with an ACME sign placed by Tom Cruise on strings and watch live on Skype

3) Wear a Fred Flintstone tunic

4) Touch dinosaur bones

5) Venture into orbit to film a low budget movie that starts with a tacticle nuclear explosion filmed 1,000,000 miles from Earth with 1,000 frames per second to imitate The First Light. Severe slow motion in the style of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Title: “Amenominakunushi”. Budget: co-op. Director: Stephen Hawking. My involvement: watch on Skype.

6) Skip down thecstreet even though my L-5 has a fissure and hurts like a motherf-

7)

8)

9) Come up with a PERSONAL bucketlist

10)

11) Write to Oregon government an effective e-mail about how to clean up the Willamette around Oregon City to the Columbia by using the DSTP differently for night soiling flower fields 1 mile from the river

12) Get NASA to call me back

13) Declare the number “13” as OK 👌 because that is the count of Jesus plus 12 whiners, so it equals “1” struggle

14) Just finished #13. Did you see that?? Peaches.

15) Declare my race as Peach. White peach.

16) Obsidian lives materialize

17) Look Ma, I am bucketing!

18)

19)

20)

21)

Twenty-one salute to… or from The Home Eternal? Do they see here? Twenty-one out of Haifa in Valhalla or whatever an eternal home is – maybe watching on jumbo tron with Tron angels..

To better States than Altered and Awful. Cheers

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