Maybe I can make this one short. Lots of social situations make me nervous. It makes me nervous when people ask me for money on the street. You can make me nervous to be around me as a neighbor. A lot of that is me although some is having to do with others so I tried to compromise.
A neighbor asked me for money. Double anxiety! He stands and holds open the door while he asked for money. Triple anxiety. He’s been doing this for a while. He’s not good at keeping track or budgeting.
It’s been pissing me off. Here in the big old book, Jesus is saying this:
” do unto others as you would have done unto you.”
That was not helping. Some people call that a golden rule but I call it a mega Maxim. So I do not believe I can escape the word of the Lord is Lord himself. Within me, my spirit is touched by his and BOY does it burn. Some may call it oxygen and electricity and chemicals and I get all that I believe all that. I’m surfing all that and to remain upright I need the uprightness.
So, Jammy Jenkinsnartherton (Real name. He is an astronaut) has no food tonight. Bullshit! I asked my wife what can we spare. I really really really really really did not want to be that type of Khristian who, foolhardy, does whatever people want. Jammy makes more money than us. But his budgeting sucks. Quite frankly he ain’t as smart as me- I over analyze the ethics, self examine and think of this stuff under pressure of empathy. It is dumb. Love is. Sometimes. The logic is missing. He may come back even more! But I’m ready. To say no to cash request.
It really bothers me when people beg. I bet it bothers you! That bothering feeling is you absorbing from the human being who may be asking or just looking pathetic. If you do not act on your empathy it will destroy you. I have been like this : “Why the f*** can he not get it together?”
That is still Empathic. When one because the problems of another person you’re wasting your time for another person. Maybe they’re acting. If you want to pay the actor go ahead. Not me seriously. I need to hear a report that they are suffering. Strangely enough once I heard that he was suffering, I felt better. I suppose it could be said that is sadistic. God with us waits to see us suffer and perhaps feels good… Because he is about to alleviate our suffering.
I hear a lot of talk about an atheist passion I hear a lot of talk about an atheist passion for compassion. I don’t think the word atheist means the same thing to everybody, I don’t think the word atheist means the same thing to everybody nor does the word God. In a fashion of immolative iconoclastic destruction of all words,
try to feel without words
identify this feeling…
and call it:
“Where the ring is unbroken.”
OK I’m going to end there because this is getting too wacky.
Oh yeah and my wife just text me and said that Jammy was at a restaurant outside. He wasn’t eating. I left a bag of groceries at his door and she told him that its waiting for in there. I feel better. With that painful feeling that I blame on God , I am glad I feel that too. Life used to be hard but I was making minimum-wage 30 hours a week the hours were going to the young mothers . That kind of ticked me off but I feel good that they got their hours but I also had a blood disease HAE, One of the most painful in the world, Prometheus pains – you swell on the liver, intestines… And I try so hard not to get triggered but it’s in my central nervous system. A.k.a. everywhere. I have no idea how I could possibly feel good now.
Stephen Hawking and Billy Graham could explain complementary views on this. I am a lot like Hawking. No I’m not! Hahaha. Graham tells specifics about the Creator and I really wouldn’t want that job. He did. I don’t care about people’s views. I care about their eyes. I don’t care about people’s theism. I care about what part they are playing. And after all is said and done I probably don’t give a big at all except for the little amount given me To have a conscience about and that’s really all I care about. Nothing worthwhile is simple. Oh… Well.