After multiple failed therapies, my personal mind tore itself, redid, and is a real piece of work. I used to argue with my wife over syntax. Not that I care, but that sort of thing seems important to a male with TBI, stress overload… I sentenced myself to MDMA “teacher” and I made my own junk cocktail from OTC stuff.
“It is not what goes into a man, but what comes out of a man (words and acts and actions) that makes him impure…”
I think MDMA stuff… is used for what it does. Now that I have quit, I have to druglessly produce drive, inspiration receptivity, nerve block… seems IMPOSSIBLE! Look at my last sentence at “have to” and put “want to”. I DO want to. As one convinced in the gospel of Jesus, it seems to me that it takes away from my CREDIBILITY to be weak. To be found intoxicated. Yelling. I have problems!
I think that no matter what I do, Jesus will be no different. I heard my visceral flesh in MDMA stupor. The experience went off the rails into many ER visits with markings of a “sorcery-to-body” that doctors read as DEADLY in high blood pressure and stroke risk. I have… seen accidents with bodies in front of me. So when is medicine “wizardry” and when is it nothing like baby aspirin? I do not know.
But check this out- I have taken videos by zen monks, music and art, and I make my own brew. I practice a non-religion of android imitation from within! Like Voltron. The body responds. I can pretend I ain’t here while I am HERE. This was taught to me by spirit around 2004. Spirit? I was mugged one morning. Threatened. I had a mental break 8 hours later, but I was in a trance right BEFORE that instructing me to think we are ALL 30 feet tall but we call it more like 5′-6′ tall. People are not tall. They are spirit. So which spirit? Like this:
(Just follow how I am thinking to find if you get my spirit in this train)
3, 2, 1… Here we go:
The Giants might win
Tao of Sheol
Closet is inside out
Does that make sense? It doesn’t to me! I hate it.
Judy Garland wins. She took on the wizard, the witches and flying…
(Smile. Now I leave you with flying ______s.)
That forces you to picture them. If you do not, did the lion melt?
She was UGLY. Who? The second dead _____.