See If You Can Follow This

After multiple failed therapies, my personal mind tore itself, redid, and is a real piece of work. I used to argue with my wife over syntax. Not that I care, but that sort of thing seems important to a male with TBI, stress overload… I sentenced myself to MDMA “teacher” and I made my own junk cocktail from OTC stuff.

“It is not what goes into a man, but what comes out of a man (words and acts and actions) that makes him impure…”

I think MDMA stuff… is used for what it does. Now that I have  quit, I have to druglessly produce drive, inspiration receptivity, nerve block… seems IMPOSSIBLE! Look at my last sentence at “have to” and put “want to”. I DO want to. As one convinced in the gospel of Jesus, it seems to me that it takes away from my CREDIBILITY to be weak. To be found intoxicated. Yelling. I have problems!

I think that no matter what I do, Jesus will be no different. I heard my visceral flesh in MDMA stupor. The experience went off the rails into many ER visits with markings of a “sorcery-to-body” that doctors read as DEADLY in high blood pressure and stroke risk. I have… seen accidents with bodies in front of me. So when is medicine “wizardry” and when is it nothing like baby aspirin? I do not know.

But check this out- I have taken videos by zen monks, music and art, and I make my own brew. I practice a non-religion of android imitation from within! Like Voltron. The body responds. I can pretend I ain’t here while I am HERE. This was taught to me by spirit around 2004. Spirit? I was mugged one morning. Threatened. I had a mental break 8 hours later, but I was in a trance right BEFORE that instructing me to think we are ALL 30 feet tall but we call it more like 5′-6′ tall. People are not tall. They are spirit. So which spirit? Like this:

(Just follow how I am thinking to find if you get my spirit in this train)

3, 2, 1… Here we go:


Black sheepish

alizarian crimson

thalo blue

titanium white

The Giants might win

Cranberries, searching—

Tao of Sheol


Closet is inside out

Judy Garland


Does that make sense? It doesn’t to me! I hate it.

Judy Garland wins. She took on the wizard, the witches and flying…

(Smile. Now I leave you with flying ______s.)

That forces you to picture them. If you do not, did the lion melt?

She was UGLY. Who? The second dead _____.






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