I long to die.
It is not allowed to speak of the path to heaven in my home because we have had many losses.
I guess I feel like if I can’t beat death, join it. But not die. Laugh but it’s possible. Hope is taken away from flesh, which is FOOD, to be wasted or eaten. We are raspberries. Peaches. Apples. Pears. Bananas. Strawberry. Blackberry.
The formula to die is willingness. A certain FULL of years feeling. I have 41.5 years. I’m stuffed. I don’t want dessert.
I’ve had bitter and sweet. I had baby feet. But for a certain cause I’d strike my neck chords dead. Hung. In front of this beam. The beam of a Portland Building that I will not show because I’m a crazy ninja with a butt-fucked hammer for fixing almost NOTHING.
To give the city direction. Can we DO that? Lay down our body dead to sizzle in fire or spoil after a rope? I AM PSYCHOTIC. I Am NOT telling on ME. God already sees me.
I claim the Rite of Atomic Arena! I can do alllll the shit Jesus can do minus the pee-pah he cut off of me.
Portland, OR building almost cost me my LIFE. I don’t even trust OSHA or God “above”. To me OSHA and police and firemen ARE God.
Personally I want to die. By my own hand is unsavory like Hemingway. Did you know Hemingway was killed by his boss? Did you know Hemingway was killed suicide your boss by his boss ? Boss Shotgun. Suicide is your boss? Killing yourself you are not boss. At worst “bitch unto thee”.
God takes no pleasure in the man who hides his body
– Gospel of John
I contemplated suicide tonight for the Lord. I am proud that I only did what I have done and I stand my stand and I stand.
We do what we actualize.
We can do anything.
who does everything?
I was willing to give my life, I know in the Holy Spirit. I repent my flesh urge to kill the Son in me as Abraham was called to stop from stabbing Issac. It was Abraham’s idea to stab his son. The spirit of Yeshua impressed an ancient. We Fidelity stand in 2015.
I will pursue no more for I am on Red Dragon AKA DMX the Sith meditation drug. I am a fat lost Jedi. Using WACKO moves.
So everybody: have sex
(reverse psychology to save man)