When The Death Penalty Just Isn’t Working

Chapter 119: When Execution Fails

“Take prisoner back, hook them up to the “Beat-ta-within-an-inch-of-your-life Machine”, press the shiny black & blue buttons, unstrap prisoner.

REhook them UP to the electric waterboarding noose guilletine firing squad whatnot machine and take away the remaining inch of their life.

Fill out form 23B. No smoking is permitted during execution. No out-of-state fruit allowed.”

FROM THE FRITTERBURY, OHIO PENITENTARY ARCHIVES 1968

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