The Kmetova Effect

At the Bratislava Zoo, there are experiments mixing human and plant DNA. That is the secret. But there is more...

At the Bratislava Zoo, in Slovakia, there are experiments mixing human and plant DNA. That is the secret. But there is more…

In 1960, a zoo was built around a mad science laboratory in what used to be called “Czechoslovakia”. Now that area is called “Slovakia”. Hmm. Well, after World War II, Europe authorities made up borders and countries without thinking. They did not “Czech” to see if everybody was happy there. Hahaha. Uh. Huh.

One thing the U. N. TOTALLY screwed up was to overlook the existance of:


Well, way under ground, scientists were growing REAL cabbage patch children. Yes!! It is wrong. Bad. Unethical… It’s awesome!!

One of the OLDEST children from the lab still around is the comedian Carrot Top. I would say he is part CARROT! Wouldn’t you??? YOU’d be wrong, though. He is beets, sprouts (for height), and barley. And also Lepruchan baby DNA. Shhhh! Do not disturb him.

Also there was Shakira. She was part jumping beans, but those are not really beans you know. They used too many types of bananas and now she just has to go Kuka-munga crazy eight times a day. Okay.

So there are missing children, too. Some fled Slovakia from the lab to try to do new things. One young woman, (we can call her “Beatrice, The Berry Girl”) she moved to an island! A big one called, “Ook”! (Spelled “UK”, but then they mispronounce it). She was made at the end of last century!

So Beatrice (not her REAL name) was made up of pure antioxidant power from blueberries and was able to shoot lasers from her eyes. She shut down the lab and took all the secret books with her, writing ALL ABOUT healthy food. She even wrote…. A POPULAR BLOG!! (Gasp!!)

Head to toe, Beatrice is perfectly composed of vitamin A, B, C, D, E, F, F#, and G. So she is practically musical too, in major key. Except for the F#. (No buddy’s prefect). And her REAL name is “A-

its “An-

It’s “And-

Oh, nevermind what her name is. Just eat a well-balanced amount of fruits and vegetables and you MAY not be visited by… Her wrath! HAHAhaha!!

Well that’s all I have on THAT goofy story writing…


This post is dedicated to Andrea Kmetova who writes “Health Is From Heaven”, because we are what we eat. And I think I eat experimental food, so it’s good to be reminded that being healthy is not just up to genes we are born with but choices we make.


๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ”๐Ÿบ๐ŸŸ๐Ÿท๐Ÿนnnnononono… Oh, whatever


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