The Priest With Bleeding Ears

Father Scorpio had a small parish in Athens, Greece. He had been a Maronite Rite Catholic priest for 12 years. A hermit priest. He lived at the church.

Then IT started to happen. Confessions. He was reknowned as a good listener. He started then, in 1977 to tell people to confess even to a good friend who is in the faith as “all are priests”.

The confession crazed slowed down. No longer did Ms. Schwietzle sit in his office to confess her exploits as a young woman. Crazy public sex. This annoyed Father Scorpio. Eventually it turned out that it was all a lie and that she liked him. He scolded her. She moved away.

Five years later, the confession craze started again, only this time, the confessors were NOT parishioners. And they told of extreme crimes and worse.

One day a man without a shirt on, walked in on a cold day. “father,” said the man. “Call me Scorpio,” said the priest. “Only God himself is our—“… He turned. He was about to say “God” is our father. The shirtless man looked big like a football player… And had I knife in his chest.

“I confess I have commited suicide. One day YOU will TOO.” And he fell and died.

Right after him, a woman with dirt on her face walked in. She had unkempt black hair, pale skin. “I confess I am a whore.”

Scorpio said to her, “That would be especially forgivable if you will call 911 for this dead man?”

So she called. It was Ms. Schwietzle!

Once the police matter was wrapped up and the body was… wrapped up… the priest, Scorpio said, “You are back… and lying again.”

“My name is Misty, you know and I have the hots for you.”

Scorpio went to the sink, washed his face and said, “Well I was following church protocol, but I like you too! If we priests are not permitted to have a wife, I will simply not tell anyone. Will you marry me? It’s been a terrible day. 54 possessed people, 5 killers and this was the 5th suicide today.”

So Scorpio, who used the baptismal also as a jacuzzi… Because IT WAS a jacuzzi… Got some fresh bread and French merlot and brought it to the table. He took Misty’s clothes off and quite Boisterously said, “By the power invested in me… I marry me! To Misty.”

So they stood eating communion naked. The wine was good.

More confessers walked in some how. So he hid Misty with him in the confessional. And eventually they consummated the relationship about 6 times to make sure it was done right, but until then she sat sideways on the priests lap trying not to giggle.

At one point she got tired of all their confessing and got out and told the line to go away- and to stop lusting after her even though she was drunk and naked.

the end


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