Five Star Point Flower Of Wonder

🌸 (reminds me of the son which reminds me of…

“0ur father:

good is the name

The kingdom come and

What pleases you be done

On this earth

as it is in the Frith kingdom

It is somewhat harder for us to eat, knowing our brothers in the world live in terror…

But give US Our daily bread, our father

forgive us our trespasses against our neighbor as we forgive our neighbor their trespasses against us

It is not into a test that we wish to be led, we desire deliverance from evil

Our father, show us this path

(and I will not see to this every day but my friends daughter who is seven in Pakistan needs answers now, now now now.)

our life is in you Lord

strength is in you Lord

I hope is in you Lord alone

Its you is in you

to you be the kingdom of glory the power today and evermore

May these things be so (= “amen”)

May It be (=amen)

……………

I am not 100% nationalist for the USA. That is not how Andy Harrison rolls. But having been baptized into “the church”, I feel allegiance to and only to spiritual church, not a building or a network of buildings. Not wanting to “worry over the world too much or too little” (Sally Struthers Almost crying juxtaposed to W.C. fields grump). To give you an example, I lean anglican, and I like the pope who is Catholic (he has not royally screwed up… Yet). But I am not Anglican, Catholic, nor Protestant, I was baptized in sight of the Lord Jesus Christ.

By someone I thought was a teacher but I don’t know. There is the Aspergers again! Cannot see! As a small follower I believe is important that I actually believe this, and on pain of gods anger against me, I represent him in speech and action and I answer to god for all of this and I have experienced discipline that almost could be taken as punitive.

I’ve had medical diagnosis that could make a person feel damned. And the latest one that’s coming in is looking like ass burgers. Aspergers. Darn it, spell correct on my butt. Now I do not know how many things I have said in my life for the past 40 years that have made me look like a dummy or a jerk. I really value the gift of speaking because knowledge truly is power and I don’t have to preach at you after I always preach at myself about the court of my faith because each one has their own court. I know even more so that not everybody can say God – I can’t always say God.

Many people just spill the beans about their “testimony” and each nationality in person type says it differently but what I hear over and over and over and over is a need for light in one’s life… I may sound simple if I say this is “father” and that Jesus is a wonderful man, but it really took me forever through my pain and bad choices, Mostly hurting myself… And I would only hurt myself more to say how I’ve hurt myself in detail. ASP burgers seem like a real curse where I just say whatever when I FEEEEEL, I have even feel guilty over things that are not wrong. Puritanical pharisaical.

I am not sure who I am anymore. And this is sometimes every day. Amnesia? No dissociative-me. I do not doubt that I have the components of multiple personality now called dissociation disorder, but I try so hard to keep it together. Not forget who I am in the face of not only my own mistakes, but cruelty force on the person of my child self, my teen self, my 20s, my 30s… Into my forties.I am 40.

Because of everything I’ve had to go through, I have divided myself into two… I described it as the I… And the me. I do have friends it’s not like I do not have friends but the I spend some time beating me over the head, and the me sometimes is seeking the I. Jesus for me is the “I in my I”, “INRI”*, religion it is popular to say God is inside and that we are God… Jesus said: (quoting father God) have I not said that you are gods?

No need to become a Mormon if you are a God already? This type of God ship is an apprenticeship adopted as a child of God, priest to serve him, not to be equal to him in all respects and you ought to thank him! Want to suspend the universe off of your mortal flesh and blood? I’m sure he can show you how that works! Scripture says that no one should think more highly of themselves then they ought… However people end up thinking less of them selves and they’re really worth.

As far as worth Jesus says we children of God (Who pray our father) are worth more than many sparrows… And I would conjecture to say that the comparison is so big that he had to make a joke about it because love is so much the love is so much. I’m not a pantheist but close… I believe the maker of the universe keeps track of the single bird in flight. If you are wishing to follow him by whatever name you call him if you are a person of peace male or female absolutely does not matter. Interbeing you are a priest. In the call is the push off sin. If you have the Holy Spirit, he is helping you at your place I don’t need to know a thing.

but if any of you were saying you were in the light, and you talk about children like they are stupid and have booger noses, I will judge yeah- it says judging you will be judged.the protection of children’s dignity is worth being judged to me! Things are worth making a mistake to say!

I hate going on and on, but being not Rxed the right meds, I end up in pain beyond my wildest nightmares… Pain at the tempo of my hearts arrthmyia and that is physicality. I am tempted to believe at least once a year that I was born to be damned. Know what I do?

I picture my body as a house with a condemned sign. This is how it ought to be as we all die. I am not willing to die- I accept it.

The funny thing is that I fear being in a car accident but not dying of cancer… I am very sensitive to being beaten up. I know JESUS was, but I am much weaker than a 33 year old who walks on water…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s