How To Survive Falling Thru Arctic Ice Into Freezing Water

           “How To Survive Falling
           Thru The Ice Into Freezing
           Water While In The Artic”

                       By “Syntax”

Number One

Get out out the water or you will die.

Number Two

Get out of your cariboo hoodie, pants and skin boots or you will die.

Number Three

Turn your clothes inside out, wait for the water on the cariboo clothing to freeze, break off the ice and redress quickly or you will… die.

Number Four

Never go hunting in the arctic without wearing cariboo skin, the best weather-proof material in the world.

Thank you to the Inuit elder hunter for explaining in an interview on the net on how he survived in this way TWICE in a lifetime as an Inuit eskimo hunter.

Outlander On The Run…

    I had to get us out of town. Picked up my phone. “Hey, you comin’ out?” I respond, “Yeah, that’s okay?” Shortest trip I ever planned. Loaded up things.

      Next day put things in the Mustang. Out then. Out to the desert. Through the Indian reservation. Made a stop. Got the stuff. Did a fast streak 60 miles off. Pulled into a wooded road. Pulled into the drive to the cabin.

     Yeah. In the desert tonight. Got beads from the reservation. Gonna make a choker, yeah. A choker. We’re on a vacation. Whadyou thing? Vacations can be a sudden, sneaky, stealthy business!


Eternal Sideways Dream

        Across a screen, is there life? My dream in light will be there on the screen. If I wake in haste I an see and taste of outside my body and within it. Conducted by electricty, my expeience is from a somatic supply.

    In a dream, fear can maximize. One must realize that dreaming is a seeming and that the somatic construct is real, not a dream. So a dream is like thinking down deeply. A daydeam or drugs make an ECT, REM or theta wave state. Dreams are writings of things.

     The experience of consumption is purely electrical. In a dream, if you eat a sandwich, it is the will to eat that is delicious, not the sandwich. Like videogame virtual reality, a dream unravels. But unlike a game it unfurls and swirls. The body is in and out of feeling.

    It is a consciousness maintainance to dream and clean and deal. A massage therapy to unkink and, maybe erase? Or condense? The “now” is so vital that dreaming puts “now” out of reach. It is another place and time. A journal without equal that we enter. A grave that we awake from.
A womb that has heartbeats all around.

     It feels nice sometimes, and is prefdrrable. Sometimes, though its like torture and I’ll want solid ground.

It Would Be

It’d be nice if I didn’t exist
If I’d never been kissed,
There’s no “I” on my list
To be kissed- never I
So I never would miss
What I missed

Disassociative ways can be true
If I think less of I, more of you
If I think most of you,
Where am I? What to do?
I’m for you
And I’m lost within you

All of me, all of I, I would trade
I would be a good slave
For a master, behave
If I could
Take the “I” out of me

If I’m me, then I’ll never be free
I’m not fit for this life
Or a lifetime of life
So I lose all my interest
I’m free

Emily Dickenson love
Is a love from below and above
And never she wrote
Such a personal note that excluded
Her life and herself

I wish I would be more than me
For then I’d lose “I”
Perhaps not even die
Oh my God thy salvation
Is mine!

A life is a plaything at best
When its over morticians undress
The coat of my soul
Finding no escape hole
For the soul and the spirit I

When I was young I had help
When I grew old, I found none
The help need was double
My fate became toil
But fear had no grip so I’m fine

Decency ruins the fun
But it makes it a safe healthy run
But what is your health
With a soul on the shelf
Why not go for it, pass out?
We die

I am a dying clay pot
My form is endearing
The plant I hold yearning
For my life to enter
From soil

Niche Ne Plus Ultra



         I once had a reason for living. Unphilosophising, yet a philosophy was mine in a time that felt temperate. Yet early years are filled with dangers unknown. Maybe untold. I was no more in danger then.

      And now so careful, I really am no more safer. Yet wisdom is mine. I do know the difference. What I mean is, (sorry- daydreaming there. Forgetting one’s place I used to hate. But now I just stop. Nature’s morphine drip.

      A slow drip. Work, work, work… and then a chance to forget? I’ll take it. I want it. Childhood is like a blackout. I can’t truly feel it, except for feelings from memories. That’d be better put as experience. Experience is not what was once an immediate sense “in-the-moment. Its something you get to keep. Often as a pain or nostalgia.

        Nostalgia is a pain pointing back question if things are lost asking, “Do I have a future or what?” I dislike nostalgia. It only beats me. Even good experience nostalgia can taint with a sick feeling. Forgetfulness is really a lack of past and future. You know of the “now” when you forget. And by “now” I do not mean a line with no volume of space or time. Now is this:

          “Now” is here. “Now” was in the past beyond what I know and will be beyond what I think what I now think the future now will be.

           “Now” is now in the parabola of the the place where the timeline bends. But, in-the-now will never be experienced in the past, though we have NOW- experience FROM the past. The timeline is always bending and yet flat.

There is proof from one angle in its true form is flat in one way and curves as well simultaneously. This shows time cannot exist separate from spacial dimensions of X, Y, Z.

          “Manifest? Oh?”

       There is no fourth dimension of space. But there is a triune aspect in which mathematics does not apply to physics except to obscurely bend a law in math that “3≠1”. Yet time is divided when thought about as ONE view of time at one time in the “now”.

      That is to say how the past relates to the future, how the future relates to now. Time can be taken as one expanding “now”. Time expands from nowhere in a beginning and into everywhere in the future. I was not in the past before my conception, though infinite causality would predict my advent exactly, and in absolute precision regardless of choice my whole life and time and manner of death.

       This, excepting the possibility of an alien intervention which can only exempt itself as absolutely alien by being defined as (A) apart from the universe, (B) relative to and intersecting and not intersecting the universe, (C) infinite as all that is recedes infinitely in the theory of mass/ space relationship. (D) The knowledge of the universe approaches infinity and recedes towards nothing (E) There is no infinite amount of matter without an alien factor present
(F) The alien factor is the cause of the existance of everything and exists into the end of everything
(G) The alien factor is the knowledge of all and exists because it can be sensed thru senses, thought, reasoning or a straight connection to our being approaching a full experience of it
(H) This aforemention alien force as I have defined in abridged human terms is described usually as “God” as defined as real and not myth, the mythical “Mother Nature, or in default said to be expanded from nothing as in “Atheism”.

      However, even religion refers to a space-time beginning as a void, yet also an extra-dimensional, beyond XYZ axis space understanding- that it cannot be sensed (ref. Genesis 1:1-5 in the Bible) and that faith (regards conscience in alliance in acting in good conscience with the alien beingness). Whereas atheism does not care to define the absolute causation with faith in limited knowledge as an absolute.

     Limited knowledge proves a man is not a full and separate alien being in the now. Is is argued by non-atheists that it is possible to start becoming alien to this world thru true alien knowledge. Full alien knowledge is considered by many faiths to join a highest God in fulltime communion even if and rather especially if they have no XYZ axis definable life, yet in full alien communion are “alien-alive”.

      Since exclusively alien existance in only infinite, this would be considered eternal life which the Christians say they have already, though their body has no perfect goodness in it (alien trait). They consider the moving body to be dead already too, yet alive because of alien connection.

     THEY hope for eternal life by evidence of God now. Its arguable to them that all is miracle-related ( from source, alien, beyond understanding). By alien, I do not mean life from ANOTHER place in the universe. I mean ne plus ultra alien- alien having no need of resource in our world to exist. We rely on resources WITHIN our world and would not exist without an infinite causuality from which all forms of everything came.

     This includes or excludes a Big Bang singular point of origin as all things point to a beginning but not necessarily from a singularity of XYZ space, emerging from an infinite point. No, it can also have come into being by instantaneous space and mass existance. Mass does not exist without space and vice versa. They only coexist. Infinitessimal universe genesis is not relative to size, rather causation type would define volume of instantaneous existance of all.

     Thru alien dimension it is conceivable that the relationship to fixed things and relative things is irrelavent, that matter can arrive or leave the universe, that the matrix of existance can warp, expand, contract, that possibilitities and probabilities are endless, that theists and atheist have things to learn from eachother and disregard as well in the accurate descriptions of realities.

    What we “like” is what is alike our aims. What we fear, we seek, flee and ignore. What we know or do not know we name or disregard.

       The unknown, including God and void are both loved and hated concepts as one understands them. Our thoughts connect to answers. The alien world is about us and our thoughts. We are all separate sentient beings. It is highly arguable that we come from an original sentient being with a knowable of alien origin, as there is no other better answer unless answers do not exists.

      If that is the case, one is unconnected to answers and is more on the vector of entertaining statistically impossible origins of XYZ {0,0,0} as a dark causality of noone. That’s like saying male and female animals jumped species precisely identically to mate or that life came from chemicals that connected into hyper-complex amoebas. Absurd to half the world (Macroevolution), so I’m in that camp.

     So, in ALL this talk, I will give an illustration. Yep. If I shake an IKEA box, how long before a simple lamp comes out assembled? Like in 6 billion years? It would break in a year. A magician could assemble it I suppose. With INTELLIGENCE and with a knowing of all the parts. The God Einstein believed in, he was sure of. The God I believe in I know so little of in my ideas.

       I believe Jesus, with alien intervention, came about akin to freak parathenogenesis with ova interception and literally theophany in person extraterrestrial from innerspace and he made a gate out for mankind to actual eternal life in lieu of biological death. And all that is just my scientific explanation for things being. And the idea of miracles, science and Jesus being resurrected, etcetera… intrigues me. I can think. Dogma doesn’t make a good Sunday suit. Skepticism works. Blindness? No one digs that.

       Now WHY are we here EXACTLY? I don’t believe a word anyone says who say they know! I just know I don’t like suffering of unknowing and wrote this as best I could, even if only for MYSELF to see what makes me stand on unshakable ground of thought.


Runaway Train

               “Runaway Train”

                       Part I

            I thought of a runaway train. Then I thought about the times of Twain. Huck finn and a shark fin too. Then exotic soup. Supervising my words. Blogs popular by word of mouth. What does it mean- “Mouth of the South”?

       Mouth off? Was in on? On top? Top spinning? Is someone sinning?

“Syntax Sin”

I was doin’
Doin what?
What is what?
A question for a word requiring
The word in question is a pun
Mania verbose
Come up close
Obtuse, obstruct…
Close up construct

        A construction can be a verbal conscriction that surrounds with no “out” but it comes from within never leaving, perceiving am I that my way of word charm may seem slightly deceiving as EVER I’m writing the reader is fighting the text so inviting- yet frightening- lightening moods saying dumb things like “Dudes in a dude ranch like salads with French (what I mean is the people) and don’t forget steeples are steep and go high and the righteous drive by- the unrighteous may cry as a preach teaching Christian without solid mission a grace with restriction. Confusing? And sentences so long unstopping, it brings fascination that runaway trains maybe get to the station, not stopping- jump off as the people “drop-offing” won’t happen today, so a jump may bring death but please jump! Yes, please jump, as there is no track left and the canyon drops far, (should have taken your car) for the odds of you dying from trains that are flying unravel ones guts on the gravel and dust!

How CAN It Be Well With My Soul?

       I was trying to figure out why I feel so unhappy today. I received a medical bill for an ER Rx for $9,000. But on top of that I listed what I am experiencing these:

Pain all of the time.
Fear doctors won’t believe me.
Ears ring.
Head rings.
Bones ache.
Out of breath.
Blood pressure high.
Heart rate can spike.
Digestion disrupted continuously.
Distended abdomen, 200%
Shoulder blade, left, is totally
Scarred anticubital areas from
   having to do my own c-1inh
Accusations by hospital of heroine
   use due to scars for deficiency
Chronic fatigue
No pain Rxes (due to accusation)
Sleep apnea
Sleep paralysis with shallow breath
Joint pain: back, spine, knees,
  ankles, wrists
Hereditary high LDLp at 1674
      (Lethal without intervention)
Neck injury
Suicidal feelings regarding
   sensations of smothing pain
   for 30+ years ongoing
Hearing irritations
Peyronie’s disease
Fibromatosis aka Leddhose disease
Hereditary Angioedema type I
    1:4 cases lethal
    rarity is 1:50,000
Hypogammaglobulin Hemaglobin G
(IgG deficiency immune deficiency)
  rarity 1:100,000
Bipolar I
PTSD (probably in connection to
    much of this with other major
    life stress)
I was born with half of a pancreas,
    so its not a good idea to drink
    my cares away.


       What was the original statement? That list made me forget. Oh, yeah…

        I got a Rx bill from ——–,
and they can kiss my butt… I don’t have anymore money or energy for paying $9000 damn dollars. I also didn’t order the drug. My doctor failed to pre-auth, which is really important! Yes!!! Goddam yes. If you don’t pre-auth, your patient can end up having to assume massive financial responsibility. Oh yeah. Yeah. I’m headed for bankrupcy. I’m wondering if I’d be doing my family a favor by putting a grave plot on damn credit card before I claim banrupcy. It a grave an asset?? Hahahah!!!!

      Oh, me feeling so much better now! I thought my life was over, but as long as I can stick it to the bastards, I think I can laugh!! Hahahahah!!!!

Interview With Bob Lane

       I was sitting with my man Bob Lane and picked his brain about life, religion, his life and his journey. Bob sometimes finds himself stopping while speaking, putting the subject on hold and will say, “I need some grounding in reality here- even after all these years I find the best questions are, ‘What is your favorite ice cream’, not, ‘What do think God thinks of such and such?'”.

     Well, Bob is a personal person. He knows a lot. He became profoundly disabled and has some unique views. So I asked him to answer some questions in an interview and he said, “Sure.”

So Bob, how old are you?

Well, (syntaxsinner), I just turned 39. But I also consider that in 3 months I will be FORTY if you count back to my conception.

What do you do?

Now-a-days, I am an online volunteer.

What is involved in that?

I try to locate people who are undiagnosed and ill, especially with rare diseases. A few times I have found people too close to dying and directed them to treatment and how to pay for it with insurance loopholes.

How’d you get into THAT?

I have a few rare diseases that require expensive treatment. I asked my doctors a lot of questions. I’ve learned to ask point-blank questions and its learning that is more useful that knowledge in a box from school. No one teaches this. You have to ask and teach yourself.

    What I learned, I share.

So is this what you want to do for a career?

No way. I think the only way this could be done is as a good samaritan. Finding people just happens when you plant yourself in on-line groups and listen. Then I introduce myself. Its not a life’s work. Its part of my life.

What part of your life is it then- is it connected to your beliefs or religion?


What is it?

Well, it IS my religion, rather a replacement for it. Looking out for the disadvantaged. I’ve been helpless before. It really sucks. I’ve also had people help me, then they were gone. That feels the best. So I do.

Do you have a particular faith or God you believe in?

That can be answered and forgotton by naming a religion. Religion surrounds cultures. I love cultures and language. I study countries now because people talk a lot about places.

Thomas Jefferson said, “If you like what I say and do, then you will know enough that you would agree with what I believe. You don’t need to know what I believe.”

But that’s evasive.

What could you say about what you believe?

Okay. No problem. Personally, I don’t believe in species-jumping, so evolutionary theory is out. I believe in creation and the book of Genesis, but interpreting it has been controversial. Personally, the fact that it says the world was made in seven days seems more likely than if in 4 billion years there was NO overseer and matter chose to be life. I have a rare disease where ONE protein is missing and I could die without it.

So the world evolved at a high rate of speed to make highly complex human beings, most of whom do not doubt a creator exists some how. Then we DEvolve and get diseases? I don’t believe that. But to say “God”, well “God” in not a name. I believe the English word is derived from “good”. Nowadays, people are saying they have their own beliefs and “don’t judge”.

     People are not judging. They are also keeping their faces to their phones and don’t value thir families. Its a bad state of affairs. I learned my lessons before technology got portable. The cool kid in 4th grade had a calculator.

     So basicly, I believe in a god, or “God”, though people really misquote “God” a LOT. I believe this creator has a spirit that connects to everyone to speak to them. Not just to “Christians” or “Believers”. I am a “universalist” but not a Buddhist or Muslim. I believe in a historical Jesus Christ and that he died and literally resurrected. That is the hardest for me to picture. But if a God can make us… he can break us… and REmake us.

You mentioned you almost died 3 years ago. Did that affect you?

Yes. That was beyond scary. I almost drowned. I barely made it. I have felt shaken up my whole life, but I felt more peace after that. After dropping out of a Bible College in 1998, I just fell apart. I found everyone has the same desire for something secure. My “pagan” friends, as I wandered “waywardly” said, “You should be a minister!”

     Well I have faith they felt loved by my disconnected self! So that’s all I want to be.

I believe things strongly to the point it pains me, but I am not God. I can be me, human. And like you said- ice cream. I don’t have a favorite. But I love chocolate.

So its been hard, and you are sick now… are you happy?

I can’t say much good about being sick, but I am married, not alone. I have a good life. Not a lot of money. But yes, I’m happy. And I want others to be able to be free and happy to. It a pass-along kind of happy. Heh.

Cool. Well thank you.



     So that was my interview with Bob Lane. I find some of his views interesting. I asked him about the Apocalypse in the Bible. He had some interesting comments on that but said maybe another time. He said he doesn’t apply that to the planet as The Book of Revelations doesn’t say its the end of “The World” as people often say and assume. Something about one’s personal death and eternal life. That’s Bob.