Literary Balance

   Oh would ya look at the title of THIS one! People always seeking balance. Hahahahah! Hahah! Hahah! Uh… okay. Do you think THIS is going to be a balanced article? Well, according to MY estimations, “so far, so good”.

      What… …ever. Defiant tone. Mimic it. Defiance is balance. Shoot, say for example you want to talk about “chewing gum”. Well, I used to sneak out of church with my brother and go one block to the Albertson’s. Awful close to the Beaverton, Oregon library. Bytheway, Oregon is pronounced, “Organ”. Not “Orygun” like East coast buffoons hit it. Hell, I know Louisiana is “Leeziana” and “Louisville” is “Luavl” 1½ syllables. Well I got 1¢ gumballs at the machine. Now there’s religion!

     See- now the above shows an execution of literary balance. Hell- at its finest. It shows I was a decent kid by going to church. I did part of what my parents said. And I grew close to my brother, sealing schemes for Jesus’ day, celebrating the American freedom of manifest destiny- a White boy getting gumballs. I was autonomous at six.

     With all due respect, I do love Jesus and think Sunday School is a hokey Amway version of living. I believe God and his Jesus wants boys to behave and be free and safe. “What Momma don’t know”, right. Ha! Well the point is, I’m a refined yahoo, reverently irreverent, Doc Holiday helping the sick and shooting the terminally insane with radical ideas like “Church is usually a theological Amway farting contest blowing away one day out of your week in a lifetime.”

     One day of the week is 14% of your life. Moral of the story is go to church and chew gum. If they don’t like it, they suck. But church is cool. Singing is good for the body.

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