I was reading symptoms of an a.a.a.- I won’t bother to explain which medical thing-occurance that is. But the symps, I have all 5 of 5. I hope it isn’t. If it was, that is an aortic event. Put THAT on the bucket list before kicking it! Ha.
The survival rate is 80%. I have been 110% RESPONSIBLE with overlooking costs, emotional, financial, to my wife.. keeping my life HEADING North, always. Always, dang nab it.. positive, sails full, avoiding meaning.
An avoidance of seeking a “mean” or middle BEST in life is positronicly TOO SAFE. Some live a righteousness on sand.. avoiding building on ROCK WITH NO NAME.
Those who do not need to name the Rock of the historical Ages will find a reward inside the cracker jack box of their heart. The Stone is Self-revealing and NOT a “higher self”.
It is Anew Beginning. It is the Ancient day dawn and setting. And without light:
“Without lamp or sun shall they see and walk on that day” (Isa.)
“There shall be no more death
… God himself
Will wipe their tears away.
He will be The God.
Will be His.”
Friday, I had xrays done. I was in pain of an 8 where a cut on the foot is a 7.
I have detailed files on misery. Excellent. I can upload hope paid forward hence.
I can also attest that the fear of dying and ending and the fear of life are smattered glass off my heart and BURNT biscuits off my brain circuits…
I turned 40
I was in
The xray room
“What if the Lord took on a form and walked among us?”
Not just as Jesus. ( I say, “Isa el-Masah”. That is Muslim-Arabic for Josh•oo•uh The Special one because I think the Muslim world has waited long enough for relief. I can use the Quran to show Isa’s pre-eminance, yes over Mohammed. Whoa? No. No way.)
So I was wheeled back to my ER room wondering if even my blonde blue eyed dude xray tech was possibly my savior in disguise. HOPE is good. Reality does not shift under wishes command, though.
My Xray tech STOPS, turns to me and says something comPLETELY OUT OF THE park! Mind you, if Jesus was around, he has shape shifted, walked through walls, walked on water and WAS IN FACT KILLED dead by ROMANS and would have scars on his hands, feet and side… unless he disguised THEM, TOO.
The xray tech says:
“I really hope you get better soon…
Its hard to see people suffering…”
(What?? Since WHEN, Mr. X-tech, did you get a BLEEDING HEART?! WOW)
He says in front of me and my wife…
“I KNOW what its like to suffer…
And I have the scars to prove it.”
That was JESUS, Man!
What.. of all 7.023 billion people he visits me? Santa could.
I don’t believe in St. Nick.
I believe in the saintless saint.
The one who is NOT christian…
Because he IS CHRIST!!
Those of us who would love life, live for always and confess today they need a heavy hauler SPIRIT for their woe…
Consider… even the syntax sinner can be forgiven, released, baby whapt butt good to go again… stuff.
Why get religion
If you can get reality cheaper?
Why try to get religion
When, IN REALITY, YOU ARE LOVED
Like Groban sings
Why be religious
Just be yourself… and figure out
In all the heaven an’ hell and left-right, domino theory, human shame brands, hurt cursing silence
In your own MINNNND
Plauging and poisoning you…
I was on bad meds, under bad care…
Now I have almost.. NO care, 2 rare condition + two infinitessemally possible disEASEs.. had my doctor THIS YEAR waving goodbye to me, prognosis, “you are going to die”
So the F what.
I got love and I beseech the Almighty as Bishop of my block on behalf of my doc who syntax SINNED! “Aluminum petri dish, dominos pizza, spin a bible, grant me my wish- may my doctor see a little light before HE dies……
It is before me? I turn my back and put MY FACE IN THE HANDS… OF… FATE, GOD, LUCK, REALITY, LOVE…
I have 200+ bones and I roll em, dude.
When my heart beats hard, I don’t like it. I am jarred, feel lonesome. If I think I will DROP, I fight it!! I will not give away 30, 000 days of a life to prepare for something that will happen ON ONE (1) day… and even on THAT day I am going to be breathing 99.998% of that day.
With HAE, (Hereditary Angioedema), one way one dies is closure of throat/ airway. I hate that. There is a 25% chance I get THAT fate, statisticly. But I chose to get a medicine from my own circuitous insurance plan that costs $400, 000/ year. Mostly so I have general health… perk #1 being near erasure of the possibility of asphyxia death, why I’d pay by lashing but I do have it. Thankful.
I can control my fate. I can master myself. I can reason to let go of what I need to. I have felt brite music while in shock in ERs- colors to the ear and heart, memories of lost launch codes to my g.i. joe KIDDO within.
So I can hack death.
Life is calling, though.
I don’t have time for anything more than honest, authentic ninja games… and no time for anything less than the best of everything. Now. Now! I’m not waiting for an after Life to understand Life and
The Beauty of each thing
moment and time, the bitter
Hunger for IT and to call IT
a HE, or if a wise thing, a
SHE, as Wisdom herself is
Personified (Solomon prov.)
… and that paradigms snap.
But love won’t. Never.
Honestly, its hard to connect to
such a simple concept. But as one
Sees the atom split result, so it is