Prank Gone Wrong

A man decided to prank his girlfriend. So he got a room at the Hilton, 21st floor for their anniversary. So he told her, “I cheated.”

She buried her head in hands… And she said, “I DID too!”

Then he said…

“Wait- whuh what??”

And then SHE grabbed a Spanish sword off the wall and cut his head off and said, “But you ADMITTED IT FIRST.”

Then she put his head in a bowling bag and dumped him at the alley.

Some bowlers found him and they had seen it before- execution by Bowler’s Wife. Cause of death on the paperwork!

He popped his head out and said, “No! I was murdered after a prank.”

Professional Bowler, Frederic Flint Stone pushed the head back in the case and asphyxiated him, crying, saying,

“Die THIS way. Not with your stupid ass prank. Die in GLORY.”

So actually he was killed after decapitation. I have to write it down because it’s really specific and I want it to be believable.

Actually the dead guy- his girlfriend thru his head down to the pool and then the body. The body hit the pool. No!- A chipper shredder!! One that was ON and… Maybe. But the head hit the ground, cracked like a coconut and let his soul back in. Using thoughts about house dancing he learned to roll his head.

Actually he lived 25 years as a head. Hit 113 times by cars AIMING for roadkill.

Means he was loved- that I write this now. Goodbye Jojo! Are you dead yet??


Zocks Und Zhoes

Za. Halo.

How are you?


Shimmy Do!!!

.      sorry. I do not mean to cuss      .

My wife was reading the news, an explicit report about a murdelizer who is a son of a bytch who cuts ‘em up like KFC, listing parts…

…     not subtlety…

and I…

.          I…

.           I went NUTS!!

boing                      Pop




Then I wrote a poem:

I have a little bicycle

i pedal

its blue

not a Schwinn

rainbows in a bucket

find my bucket

in the timeless wonder

of the space between

your ears

Buddha Speaks On Self-immolation

Am I the first to think of this? I doubt it. Buddha made a reference to anger…

“If you GRAB a COAL to throw it to

BURN your enemy… You are hurting

only yourself.”

sure, uh huh, and so what do TIbetan men and women do??

(and like a deceived King does he sit with the news of a newly charred devotee of their way with honoring their expression? Monks of Buddhism do not confess sins- it’s as if they say they are gods unto their own will, piety dissolving upon learning that Buddhism’s founder PREEMPTIVELY condemned the burning of human flesh as an achievement. So even without God judging, one can see the Tibetan spirituality is “Waco safe”. If you don’t know Waco, that is Texas. China is like Janet Reno. the Tibetans are suicidal. It’s the Hierchal high form of child behaviour- BRAT explosions, to maim and kill self. And boring meditations, not joyous to go Columbine in China as a clergyman of death.

Hit Here

Hi there & hit here

magical words that make a 12 dimensional YIN YANG haiku within a haiku…

the t is like a little fairy boat…

.t                                .

.   t                              .

.            t        POW!  .

.             •                    .

“Oh no! t fell thru the friggin ice”

(Sorry, but I don’t stoop to being funny by saying, “Fuckin ice”! I say friggin. People who say it that one way are really samscratched & Wookified. Which, well- I am just writingaround you… Boop. I am ahead. Boop. You’ll never get me.

Asian Women Love Me, Aged Over 60, So We

… both know it’s not going anywhere.

But I climb on their emotions like an American ninja… who needs serious counseling

I am imagining this world, right? Okay, if it’s imaginary, why do we say the Earth core is “really hot”

Like a moving sideway in slow motion, lava burns the land and all the times the earth has HAD are concealed

For Sale:

Earth with a Tsar-Orangebright creamy MAGMA center… Within

When To Give Up On Feeling Better

Most people are healthy. I am healthy- SORT of. I am not very mobile ANYMORE, not working ANYMORE, nothing makes me super happy ANYMORE and my body systems suffer from hard core NON LETHAL diseases involving internal bleeding that my lymphatic system corrects.

I’d say I’d rather bleed internally to death, but obviously since I survive the cycle of hell and age as I have stomach swells that are painful that I now ALSO have a vision of Hell. Hell is “Each day better than the next” but unlike Judas “Swing Low” Iscariot I PERSONALLY see no point in tearing my book of life up or hanging myself. I know everyone is executed in time.

But I give up on feeling better. You may think I am weird, but to me, my body represents that I sin. If I never sinned, I would never necessarily need to be here. So a dilemma- even considering the work of Christ and accepting it, I believe my actual flesh to be on death row. Or recycle row. The food I eat from Walmart and McDonald’s has made the body you SEE when I walk by.

This physical body- all of it WAS food. If you kiss someone’s cheek, it may be made up of the glass of water you GAVE them yesterday.

ooo… Impressive? Okay…

So I accept I will never feel as good as I once did. I do care, but after a while I start to love… Just to love a person near, or a good dinner. I don’t sleep well.

It may partly be that I burnt out part of my brain’s ability to process seratonin well with too much past use of drugs. I did not care. I do now. I think mostly my bad health HURTS me. I took too many LEGAL drugs. The body does not know law.

Unless we make laws according to the body’s true reactions, we have misery, early death…

I was put on 400mg Seroquel/ day. It turns out they wrote 400 when it was 100. I came close to stopping breathing. I lived alone, then. ODing on Seroquel is FUN if you say so. I think it is Waterboarding in a pill, only once you take it, Catatonia or walking or sipping water…


I have, therefore, a special suicide prevention plan. The pain is as intense as a three second blow torch branding. (Once I took a metal awl, heat it up and branded “00” (zero zero) to my right shoulder. The heat makes one jump so I put a page off paper down then branded it until it went through. It was a “soft” way to make a permanent set of kiloid circles of  scar tissue. I wanted to make “00” for the year ’00 or 2000, the year I did it.

14 years later, I cannot endure biking, hiking, injury pain… 14 years later I learn I have a blood disease. It will continue to make my body different, and less.

I suppose I could say life is rich in other ways like 105 year old grandmas say, saying their husbands died in the 1980s and their thought life is so rich.

There is a whole generation that HAD to use drugs as kids and teens because they had no counseling resource… not everyone has good friends. Why don’t people ever say that rock and roll music and alcohol and drugs and friendship ALL have s place to soothe the Savage Somebody. The savage beast.

Maybe I disown my humanity

I look in the mirror and I see a handsome and I see a devil. I see who I was by milliseconds… I never see who I am RIGHT NOW. Maybe that is my fault.

I do not like my body. It’s like a house that has no insulation. I wish it would burn down without hurting and then I could see what will cover me then.

my body does not cover me.

maybe what they say is true- a dead conservative evangelical who preached about a God of glory must also face scrutiny, and while right about the afterlife having no reincarnation, he finds he lived NOW in vain?


“Vanity… All is vanity…”



So I am saying I am never going to get BETTER… If I do it’s an illusion to say I can bicycle again. When I get on a bike at a store to SIT on it, I feel like I am on chemo doing it. I have massive Doctor bills. Continually. And insurance to talk to. I hate my life. I should. In a positive way even.

In the Bible There is a saying, “Deny yourself”. “Know Thyself” is great because one should KNOW ALL THAT THEY HAVE TO LOSE. Life is like roulette betting. Gamblers are not happy people by and large. Gambling has death in it. Big debts unpaid mean death eventually in gambling.

So if our body is a chip, what do you bet on? When do you win? Do you win or do you lose? Romans, the Epistle to the- it reads “Do not say who will rise up or who will sink down” but if you believe you will be saved. “Saved” there means “cleared to another place, kept”. We save music off the net to a CD… Song is 99.999+% the same.

So if music is saved to a CD, I suppose spirits are saved to God, which could be like hell in brilliant strong heat… But if one is readied to see God that hell would be paradise…

I hate the medicines that caused me seizure like symptoms and brain loss. I actually DO sort of feel what I am missing. I feel I am missing the part of my brain that feels peace. So when the pain burns, I find I can conquer a hard thing. If my wife does not make dinner after mentioning it 10 times (she is also disabled. For Beta Thal but was in a car wreck TBI)… well this pain I had in 1990 at age 15.

25 years is a good accomplishment to meditate as MUCH as a person can on torture (I do oppose Waterboarding mostly. But as an almost drowned victim in 2010, I’d say Waterboarding is a sophisticated weapon as nukes are. It is never cool. It’s awesome. Should the CIA know that their torture affects the spirituality of the subject? Saddam’s was hung at a gallows but you see he had no fear of death?

How many people would want to tell everyone off, fearless and not in pain- if you were being executed? Would you like to tell your executioner to “F off”? What war cry would you make. Sorry but I think Saddam’s died well. I won’t be firing gas into villages killing kiddos, but if I see a man die like Scar Face, yelling… I want to smoke the same brand of cigars to get that style. Maybe I am wacko but I watched the execution of Saddam’s (no showing of body) I felt RELIEF that that magic genie of Sand Land Saddam was able to finally show what a big baby he was.

wah! Wah!

You can’t tell me there is no afterlife- I want to slap that man in Tomorrow land for pulling my high school alumni out to Iraq in 1992. WHAP his butt with a cane.

Arg arg rarl RARRR!!

offramp ahead





Out with ya

Giant Analrectumy

My, my…

Back in the 1500s it sure got boring, so they invented a pastime

In the French Alps, Fabregé eggs had to be SMUGGLED into the land, so up the butt they went. (Hence “to smuggle” is an analrectal word. Latin for upside down cauliflower. It could be a legend

I hope so.


According To Facebook Idioma Del Nino The Survivor Experience Of A Sex Trafficked Child Is Like A Drowning Survivor Experience

“Same biochemical sensation- intimate fear. There ARE worse things to fear out there than death, even. I was strangled by waves of the ocean. Death wants to leg hump. It is not just in the dead- the frosty cold feeling of fright came be transmitted among living dead perverts who are monsters- not people. Or are they? Are they us? IS death us? Or IN us… They say we are dying now. I think it’s a slacker attitude, but okay. Go ahead and be dead now while you are alive.

This Soceity is goth at the core.

Hmm. Whatever. Hahahah.

Americans Are Posers

The universe is a cell and a phono-.

It is a prison cell.

with a courtyard inside of each person on this dangerous world

not just in the cerebrum are sounds felt, but in the tibia, the ankle. Who knows- I think strokes are successive modes of retiring, memory loss keeps one from boring conversations…

… finally get a little rest before dying. Yuh. Every one ought to reflect. Not if you are on a battlefield, or just found out you fell out of love- or do you still love… Them?

The universe reduces to zap static partical whirl at a speed greater than speed… It’s a television for a higher alien. Watching us. Having dead people watch. Creepy.

No they are not dead even though they die.

compare the feeling there with,

“Who made God?” and I think it feels creepy to meditate with fingers CLOSE but NOT touching!

That is the ultimate lie to this world. Close but not touching is great. No it’s torture. People do touch in life.

And touch is real. People say be careful. Why? Too careful you feel alone-to-death.


When Shamrock was 1,890 he begat

Hassenpfeffir. Hassenpfeffir laid a gold egg, had other sons none of whom wanted to become daughters praise the he he HE he … Blessings from HIM Holy laughter… Begat Lady Godiva.

A census was given. A census was taken eth away.

Abraham stood there, beard in the wind. Top hat. Abraham LINCOLN! Cars… were not around yet. Pharaoh said “No!”. MLK said unto him, “Let my people go…”. And now with the Matrix, the 60s never happened.

Why would we be allow to live thru war that is not real in the matrix versus that future DUMP city where they dance. Trinity is a porcelain skinned goddess hottie.

she is the only one who mustn’t be lost

matrix seems like limbs of a person affected by the deific thru matrix being the word for reality 1. material reality 2 is the idea world.


Free word. Feed it. Breed it!


i am going kickoff Kraft!!! spalkorret this u sum of a… B-

hoo hee


Four metal female assassins are stuck to a giant MAGNET. Show is called Bytchspyder! Try out. You must be very small.