Feeling Fine All The Time, Part 0.5

       The unabridged version of this book has begun.

     For some of you, your life story, in its entirity, has been lost in the ‘ocean’ of soul. Your soul pieces were swallowed by sharks. We will be retrieving them by harpooning the electric sharks of Nightmareland where all of us have been at bedtime… and into a white room we plop the shark and find parts of you in swallowed dream scrawlings of pain. You are SO loved.

    Carefully, your blood is analysed. And this is not even your body! All the snapshots, love letters, gifts and the ever-evasive effervessant FEELING of meta physical joy, all us angels are trying to get back to you. I am “Hi Jack” 1 of a trillion wing commander star soldier angels. And I have a crew. I, uh, I’m … named “Hi jack”, because basicly, when you are SCREWED in life or in TERRIBLE pain or grief, we go into action.

     You ever heard of being possessed? Yeah?? Now get those guys out of your mind. Seriously. We have to deal with their ‘shiddoodoo’ all day long. Who ever said being an angel was easy? Everywhere we enter is dark. When we leave everything is glowing and people either are saying, “yay!” or are catatonic  from the inferno back draft.

     Our Primus Commander, aka Lilivali, has instructed us to ask you world-wide WEB heads… if you would not rather indulge your whole being into the Sky-Wide-Web.
Doesn’t the movie the MATRIX say it ALL? Says the great Prophet Morpheus (oh crap, he’s fictional … whaddu I do.. what does every body do? Make up some crud and hope is SELLS) “Shhhhh!! “

As you know, you have the blue pill or the red pill…
Morpheus wore purple-
Samuel Jackson had a purple
light saber and SHOULD have been in the Matrix movie…

It means…
It means…

Take both pills at once!!!


The Gateless Gate

   Usually when you come up to a house with a rocky half wall, there is a gate. I suppose gates can be left open. But you usually do not see a gateless gate. A gateless gate leaves you with a lot of questions.

    “Is that dark section unpainted where there WERE hinges?”

    “Is this ‘broken doorway’ symbolic of what was once withheld from me but now is NOT?

Thru the gateless gate

It was about 4:30pm.
I was in my 5th Tae Kwon Do
It felt demeaning.
I have self trained in martial arts since I was 10. So almost 30 years.
From a band mate who sparred with me in 1994, I learned I have an unusual aptitude for learning from watching. Dance… being goofy… knowing the weight of a human head and how much pressure to apply before they K.O. aka “my butt is a bouncing Betty”. Yes, even my butt is a weapon. Try me, Co-jack.


Yeah. Well…
The pressure of life
Was going in.
I prayed to my saviour an honest to gosh request.
I believed it.
I received it.
No money. Oh well. Even better…..

At the dojo

I had prayed to see where the dead go and if perchance I saw it, would I like to depart. Not by my hand. By faith in a portal and I reall was trying to be appropriate to God.

Little did I know that this prayer shook his attention!

On Earth, normal body, I put 200% into each punch and kick. Over an hour. Its really damn dangerous for any age. Don’t do it is my advice.

Because… because I went home, up to my room, closed the door…


   I put my bag down.
I laid down on my back on my bed. *whump*

  No one else was there no video camera to capture. If walls could speak.

What are we made of?

The next thing was that I laid back. Exhausted. I worked out so hard I wanted to beat my body up bad.

   I heard and felt a hum
The feeling you get when
your foot falls asleep…

It was a numb, fuzzy, scratchy but comfy feeling… then..

An imaginary sensation

I fell thru my bed
Like the matress was butter
And I was red hot

I fell. I was not seeing
But I felt the presence of

I was upset I could not say goodbye. So I try to say hello a lot to everyone. There is no room for regret. Not after seeing beauty and how this world is not forever

People say love is forever
Show me how

I’ll tell you how
I am going to love my loved ones all MY life… and when I go- you suckers can’t prove I stopped! I win.

I’ll be look through the eternity glass at those who still have a life to finish, eating heaven’s pop corn with my dad and all the cool dudes, watching and cheering… in 60 years…


In my experience I fell thru a cool breeze, landed in a dark, but not evil place and then shot out of a furnace like the molten glowing core of the Earth… and two angels, (I’ll just say Isa il’Masaih’s two arms, burning like rock and roll and F-16, him and me in a gyro and…

    I sat up.

Blue sky.

Did I die.


No one is going to believe me.

I was on medicine, but lithium is a salt. Later I looked up the closest explanation:

Dakota Sun Dance

Yeah. They excercise hard until they near death. Then supervised, too. They don’t eat or drink for 5 days and go toxic.

I prayed, was open.
Its not about what you SEE. Its the fact that YOU DO see more. From motor of imagination, perputual visceral experiences in-the-now…

I had dreams of places I would go and never was there- and also some of my friends said they did too, without drugs. Not all of us are in need of something revealed to us.

I could go on, but the main point IS… that for the longest time I practiced praying for others a lot and not for money.. then this day when I was 31 I pray nonchalant:

    “Would you allow me to simply see the way out?”

He didn’t show me that. That’s ambiguous. Out? So I would say God gave me a jolt, a jump and a bungee and a dump back to reality.

I was so eager to LIVE after that. I know God wanted that. And the brain is not owned by scientists… not even ourselves. We come off a bizzarre assembly line. And the more one studies our natural conductivity and purposes with an open mind for precise fact… the more you will find God’s signature on everything living, moving, inanimate, dying, dead… in all the universe.

We are in a living book of wonder. Every day the pages are nice enough to turn for us with the Earth like a mom, but when all the storm is still going and not totally gone, there is love, a warm hearth over a fireplace, people in the room with you. The ones you once knew are STILL…… so close you wouldn’t believe me bye I’m late for water I have to get a glass

The Spiritual World Of The Mental Handicapped, TBI, Stroke Victim…

“The mentally handicapped or ‘disabled’ require a different type of priesthood as human beings.”

   Said by No one EVER

The priesthood before God almighty includes the soul of his daughters. Our soul-spirit megatronic power system, kids, is neither an innie nor an outtie.

God charges all persons of Man-wo-kind with a super structure gender-less sex-less antenae.

Power is all around.
Literal, physical, metaphysical, spiritual, holy-ghosting, fire in the sky to your heart.

Ask and you shall receive.
Now my name is Andy. When I worked at Safeway in 1999, Andy, a stout kind man with Down’s was the first to greet me. After I left, 10 years later, Andy recognized me from afar

     I practice a Christianity where such diligence in character and recognition is what I call ‘ angling ‘. Christians fish men and are men. Wo men too. Wo men can fish men. Fish men to who we call “the son of man”.

   He is the powerful, graceful one. A man. Like a lion. Andy is built like a battle-ready Hobbit. I shook his hand. Felt like 10 fingers. Felt like jesus was IN IT!

   Jesus, if you read your bibles is now, as of 1970 years ago a shape-shifter. Read your bible.

This isn’t a boring religion. Not anymore. Scientists and top religious philathropists agree on 99% of points of truth. All the churches that need money, need  it so BAD because God wont give it.

   Church is free in homes. Special castles, domes, temples… theses are man made.

  I’m Andy Harrison and today’s post is dedicated to thd other Andy. “Smart” people worry that “slow” people cannot say their prayers right. I witnessed this in a congregation in NE Portland.

I am Andy Syntaxsinner
Apossible to the Bwain Damaged sheepah
I yam bwain damag-duh

A bit



Really, Really Stupid Inventions And Concepts In Front Of YOU

Hi. Happy East Year. Specifically the year 34 A.D.
Get a history book and look up “empty tomb”.

Inventions and ideas that are anti-progress

A hot water boiler pitcher
A french press

In 1940 they called that a perkolator and it both boiled and filtered your coffee.


Putting kids on a leash

Dad yells at the kids,
“Come HERE… NOW.”
“GET OUT OF THE STREET!! I can’t afford another funeral.”



Oh wow, microfische!


Microfische? What a stupid idea!! I need a physical news paper to hide me eating a Mr. Goodbar from my WIFE. Gramma knows I’m diabetic! (I kept your secret, Boppa.)


Mmm. Coke is it!


Wth!!? There’s no cocaine in my Coke… I’m reporting you to the FDA!

Stupid invention #37

TVs and DVD players are almost unusable without a remote.


“A remote? What- are you a lazy ass?”

Syntaxsinner T-shirts

Printed next week
No picture available
I promise they are
     The most Syntax

It would be
Not to buy one
For your mom, dad or
   E… E… English teacher…

Cost: one llama



I have gone to NA and AA for 2 weeks… I STILL don’t write NORMAL

Coffee & my WP @ Spring Creek in Milwaukie, OR


Wow. Sideways. I REALLY tried. I look thoughtful or something. Or friggin po-ed! Andy! Kalm the frig down, dude.

This is how I text SOBER.
Not much difference at all. If you read the previous 985 posts, you may notice a dif. I doubt it. If a person has a medical condition THAT is the deciding factor of style. Paul Evans has Tourette’s, I have HAE TYPE I.

I was put on this here a serotonin reuptake inhibitor for pain. I’d hallucinate and not “see” anything. In the end, it wasn’t the right fit. I started losing memory. A contraindication or two plus a few od on the med called safe like a runner sliding into home was just too angio-a-rific.

   People close to you report disassociation. Its because you can start analyzing, unlike mescalin that I hear just freaks you out. It was Lady GaGa meditation, morning, noon and night, disassociating. Now I don’t take anything for pain. My dreams and blissful joys are carrying me. Sure. I have the Ghost of George Burns following me like Barney follows Fred. Uh huh.

“Get a cigar, get a cigar,” he crackles. And it really- doesn’t suck…

Spring Creek coffee house in
Milwaukie , OR


That picture is OFF. Ugh.

I have not gotten PERMISSION to take pictures. In the coffee place.



No. The other way!! Stupid me. Geez! Why am I so freekin Sirius!


That is J’eake’s coffee house. Uh, no… its fun real home. Looks different. Quiet. The curvy pipe on top is for ingoing and outgoing mail from the place down below! That’s right… the IRS.

   Well, the coffee is really good this morning. Matt and Nicole were brewing up a batch so good it could wake the permanent customers next door. You know- at the finishing chalet at J’eake. Or “Pioki”?

I can’t READ CURSIVE letters.


I don’t WANT to. Read. What?
Cursive. I don’t like cursing, either.


Coffee Rama


Wow. I look thoughtful or something.

This is how I text SOBER.
Not much difference at all. If you read the previous 985 posts, you may notice a dif. I doubt it.

I was put on a serotonin reuptake inhibitor for pain. In the end, it wasn’t the right fit.
Now I don’t take anything for pain. My NDEs are carrying me. I have the Ghost of George Burns following me like Barney follows Fred.

“Get a cigar, get a cigar,” he crackles. And it really- doesn’t suck…

Spring Creek coffee house. In
Milwaukie (not Wisconsin- Oregon. WI blows. Its windy I mean.)


“Now-life” Precedes “Afterlife” And Will Always Be Forever Never-the-ending- The Life In Me!

    I was reading symptoms of an a.a.a.- I won’t bother to explain which medical thing-occurance that is. But the symps, I have all 5 of 5. I hope it isn’t. If it was, that is an aortic event. Put THAT on the bucket list before kicking it! Ha.

  The survival rate is 80%. I have been 110% RESPONSIBLE with overlooking costs, emotional, financial, to my wife.. keeping my life HEADING North, always. Always, dang nab it.. positive, sails full, avoiding meaning.

   An avoidance of seeking a “mean” or middle BEST in life is positronicly TOO SAFE. Some live a righteousness on sand.. avoiding building on ROCK WITH NO NAME.

   Those who do not need to name the Rock of the historical Ages will find a reward inside the cracker jack box of their heart. The Stone is Self-revealing and NOT a “higher self”.

    It is Anew Beginning. It is the Ancient day dawn and setting. And without light:

“Without lamp or sun shall they see and walk on that day” (Isa.)

“There shall be no more death

… God himself
Will wipe their tears away.
He will be The God.
The people
Will be His.”
(Rev. 21)

Friday, I had xrays done. I was in pain of an 8 where a cut on the foot is a 7.
I have detailed files on misery. Excellent. I can upload hope paid forward hence.

I can also attest that the fear of dying and ending and the fear of life are smattered glass off my heart and BURNT biscuits off my brain circuits…

I went
Into shock
Several times
Last weekend.
I turned 40


I was in
The xray room
And thought:

“What if the Lord took on a form and walked among us?”

Not just as Jesus. ( I say, “Isa el-Masah”. That is Muslim-Arabic for Josh•oo•uh The Special one because I think the Muslim world has waited long enough for relief. I can use the Quran to show Isa’s pre-eminance, yes over Mohammed. Whoa? No. No way.)

So I was wheeled back to my ER room wondering if even my blonde blue eyed dude xray tech was possibly my savior in disguise. HOPE is good. Reality does not shift under wishes command, though.

My Xray tech STOPS, turns to me and says something comPLETELY OUT OF THE park! Mind you, if Jesus was around, he has shape shifted, walked through walls, walked on water and WAS IN FACT KILLED dead by ROMANS and would have scars on his hands, feet and side… unless he disguised THEM, TOO.

The xray tech says:

“I really hope you get better soon…
Its hard to see people suffering…”
(What?? Since WHEN, Mr. X-tech, did you get a BLEEDING HEART?! WOW)

He says in front of me and my wife…
“I KNOW what its like to suffer…
And I have the scars to prove it.”

That was JESUS, Man!
What.. of all 7.023 billion people he visits me? Santa could.
I don’t believe in St. Nick.

I believe in the saintless saint.
The one who is NOT christian…
Because he IS CHRIST!!

Those of us who would love life, live for always and confess today they need a heavy hauler SPIRIT for their woe…
Consider… even the syntax sinner can be forgiven, released, baby whapt butt good to go again… stuff.
Why get religion
If you can get reality cheaper?
Why try to get religion
Like Groban sings
Why be religious
Just be yourself… and figure out
In all the heaven an’ hell and left-right, domino theory, human shame brands, hurt cursing silence
In your own MINNNND
Plauging and poisoning you…

I was on bad meds, under bad care…
Now I have almost.. NO care, 2 rare condition + two infinitessemally possible disEASEs.. had my doctor THIS YEAR waving goodbye to me, prognosis, “you are going to die”
So the F what.
I got love and I beseech the Almighty as Bishop of my block on behalf of my doc who syntax SINNED! “Aluminum petri dish, dominos pizza, spin a bible, grant me my wish- may my doctor see a little light before HE dies……


It is before me? I turn my back and put MY FACE IN THE HANDS… OF… FATE, GOD, LUCK, REALITY, LOVE…

  I have 200+ bones and I roll em, dude.
When my heart beats hard, I don’t like it. I am jarred, feel lonesome. If I think I will DROP, I fight it!! I will not give away 30, 000 days of a life to prepare for something that will happen ON ONE (1) day… and even on THAT day I am going to be breathing 99.998% of that day.

    With HAE, (Hereditary Angioedema), one way one dies is closure of throat/ airway. I hate that. There is a 25% chance I get THAT fate, statisticly. But I chose to get a medicine from my own circuitous insurance plan that costs $400, 000/ year. Mostly so I have general health… perk #1 being near erasure of the possibility of asphyxia death, why I’d pay by lashing but I do have it. Thankful.

    I can control my fate. I can master myself. I can reason to let go of what I need to. I have felt brite music while in shock in ERs- colors to the ear and heart, memories of lost launch codes to my g.i. joe KIDDO within.

   So I can hack death.
   Life is calling, though.

   I don’t have time for anything more than honest, authentic ninja games… and no time for anything less than the best of everything. Now. Now! I’m not waiting for an after Life to understand Life and

        The Beauty of each thing
        moment and time, the bitter
       Hunger for IT and to call IT
        a HE, or if a wise thing, a
         SHE, as Wisdom herself is
         Personified (Solomon prov.)

        … and that paradigms snap.
         But love won’t. Never.

    Honestly, its hard to connect to
     such a simple concept. But as one
    Sees the atom split result, so it is
     with faith.